Kathryn Lindsay
June 16, 2016 9:48 am

After a long hard day, all any of us really want is a massage in bed. For cat owners, that could actually be possible. People reports that a spa in Japan offers cat massages, AKA, a massage given by cat masseuses, who knead customers’ backs the same way they “make biscuits” on pillows, the couch, or your leg. Apparently, this a cat massage is an add-on that you can request in addition to your normal human massage.

TBH, though, we’re still kind of confused at how it works. Most cats we know won’t even come when called, let alone give us back massages on command. Here are just 10 questions we have about cat back massages:

1. Are they declawed?

Because, if so, that’s pretty inhumane. But at the same time, a cat masseuse with claws sounds pretty painful.

2.What are their qualifications?

I want to know that I’m getting the best of the best.

3. Is there a cat masseuse school?

Because how else would they learn?

4. Can I go to it?

I’d love the be the first human with cat masseuse qualifications.

5. How do ask for it to be harder? Softer?

Because I can’t imagine regular cat-kneading would be enough. Maybe they put a second, heavier cat on your back?

6. Do I tip?

I never know, especially with cats.

7. What are they paid in, anyways?

Like, should I tip them in treats?

8. Do they speak in soothing meows while they work?

As if it’s even possible for a meow to be “soothing.”

9. Do they use catnip as aromatherapy?

Because that doesn’t do much for me.

10. Do people actually find this relaxing?

I think I’d rather cuddle one instead.

Take a look for yourself below!