Olivia Harvey
June 05, 2019 7:12 am

We’re five days into June, and Pride Month celebrations are officially in full swing. Parades, parties, and inclusive events are popping up in cities around the country to celebrate the LGBTQ and nonbinary community. But some cis dudes in Boston took it upon themselves to use the month of June—again, Pride Month—to advertise the “straight pride parade” they’re planning to host this summer.

The Boston straight pride parade is spearheaded by a club called “Super Happy Fun America,” an all-male group that “advocates on behalf of the straight community in order to build respect, inclusivity, equality…empowerment, sustainability, justice, awareness, intersectionality…visibility, tolerance, and alliances with people from all walks of life.”

The group’s website reads, “We encourage everyone to embrace our community’s diverse history, culture, and identity regardless of sexual orientation.”

We’d laugh if they weren’t being so serious.

The club’s vice president, Mark Sahady, recently posted on Facebook to confirm that the straight pride parade would be coming to Boston after filing a discrimination complaint with the city. The tentative date is set for August 31st.

However, it should be noted that Boston city officials have yet to grant the group a permit to march.

People are not happy with the idea of a straight pride parade. In case you don’t know why it’s problematic, we’ll explain: The heterosexual population is not the minority, and they have not been the subject of persecution in the ways that the LGBTQ community has been. Twitter rightfully alit with backlash, and the takedowns are hilarious.

When Chris Evans disagrees with you, it’s a great sign you’re in the wrong.

And listen, if Smash Mouth has to get involved, you know you’ve crossed a line.

We were planning to wear our taupe cargo shorts, FYI.

To store our fish! Nailed it.

Because the straight pride parade falls under the First Amendment, Boston city officials are probably going to give them a permit. But, as was true in 2018 when hundreds of Bostonians ascended on the Common to scare off white nationalists attending the “Free Speech” rally, we assume they’ll do the same again to keep hate from flourishing in their city.

Happy Pride Month to everyone—except those dudes organizing the straight pride parade.

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