Channing Sargent
September 19, 2016 4:50 pm
Susan Hassmann

Remember when NASA decided that our horoscopes aren’t actually our horoscopes? Yeahhhh, about that. Susan Miller is shaking her head at NASA, and we have to say, we’re relieved. We turn to astrology for various super-legitimate reasons, like how to deal with breakups, what career paths to pursue (dad says law, we say theatre), how to interpret cool celestial phenomena, and how to keep our spirits up when the weather report shows nothing but rain. But recently NASA dropped the news that the traditional zodiac sign dates are incorrect.

I might not be a Virgo? Will I have to change my tattoo? My bestie isn’t a Sag? (Pronounced Sadge, like Madge, it’s everything she’s about.) Say it isn’t so.

Well, according to Susan Miller, everyone’s go-to star whisperer, it isn’t. Phew. “The ancients discussed whether or not to include a 13th sign — they debated, they did empirical studies, and in the end they felt it was not significant,” she told Elle.

Astrology-dependent folks across the twittersphere asked Susan about the news, and she assuaged concerns.

NASA didn’t even ask.

Scientists are not astrologers.

By “ancients,” she’s referring to the Babylonians who created Western astrology over 2000 years ago. But according to NASA, the stars have been slowly shifting, and the constellations that the zodiac is based on have moved position.

In addition, NASA announced the existence of a 13th zodiac sign. Ophiuchus, a new planet identified within the zodiac belt.

Here are the new astrological dates, according to the space administration. But remember to not take too much stock in these. Because, astrology is not science. Or, um, we mean science is not astrology.

Capricorn: January 20 – February 16

Aquarius: February 16 – March 11

Pisces: March 11 – April 18

Aries: April 18 – May 13

Taurus: May 13 – June 21

Gemini: June 21 – July 20

Cancer: July 20 – August 10

Leo: August 10 – September 16

Virgo: September 16 – October 30

Libra: October 30 – November 23

Scorpio: November 23 – November 29

Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17

Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20

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