All the awesome words people are now naming their babies
We’ve all fantasized about what we’ll name our future children: Amy? Amanda? Alex? Well, have you considered Shiny instead? Apparently, a lot of other mothers have. Earlier this month, Nameberry, a parenting site boasting a large database of unique child names, released a list of quirkiest baby names taken from the 2014 Social Security census. So if you’re expecting soon and you’re looking for a more original name for your new son or daughter (or you’re, you know, just planning ahead) consider choosing one of these fancy monikers.
Right now, there are eight little boys, all born last year, who will be able to use this comeback at some point in the future:
Schoolkid: I can do anything! Awesome is my middle name!
Awesome: Oh yeah? Well it’s my first name. So there.
Adjectives are hot in the baby-naming world right now, almost hotter than Disney princess names. (I’m looking at you, Elsa.) What’s that? You need another example? Gladly . . .
Babies can now join swans, gazelle, and Marilyn Monroe’s hair on my mental list of majestic things. I can already hear all of the miscommunications that are bound to arise.
“Hi, what’s your name?”
“I mean, I’m sure that’s true . . . but what should I call you?”
“Majestic. Or Maj, if you prefer that.”
“. . . sure.”
While the logical part of my brain knows that most parents were thinking about angel halos when they picked out this title, the childish part of my brain secretly hopes that they were actually taking it from the video game series. Personally, I think that video game character names are grossly under-appreciated. If we can have little “Awesomes” and “Majestics” running around, why not “Spyros” or “Luigis”?
I don’t know whether to be excited that an eBook brand made the list (Reading is not dead! Let’s rejoice!) or disappointed that our fondness for technology has encroached upon our baby-naming vocabulary. I think I lean towards the latter because if you wanted to celebrate books, why not name your child “Holden Caulfield” or “Jane Austen” or “Book”?
At first, I was a little confused why someone would name their child Shiny. I can understand Majestic or Awesome but you don’t typically see a baby and go “your daughter is so shiny!” But then I remembered that the word “Shiny” means “cool” in Joss Whedon’s Firefly and it immediately grew on me.
Are you a fan of massive, floating airships invented by the Germans in the 1800s? What about English rock bands? Well then “Zeppelin” might be the name for you. Last year, 42 boys and 11 girls were blessed with this interesting name. The pros to being named Zeppelin? You’re worth like, a million Scrabble points. The cons? You’ll probably always be last during roll call.
Do you want to set your baby up for success? Name them Mystery. It sounds so magical, Hogwarts recruiters would be knocking on your child’s door the second the clock chimes midnight on their 11th birthday. Trust me.
Remedy is a super sweet name for a baby, in my opinion. By naming your son or daughter Remedy, you’re saying that they are the “remedy” for your life, the person that makes you feel better and happier. You’re also increasing the chances that I will sing “Remedy” by Jason Mraz in my head every time I run into your kid so thanks for that.
No one will ever derive more pleasure from announcing their name in public than those kids who are named Captain, especially if they have a creative last name to go along with it. Captain Ironside. Captain Greenwood. Captain Kingsley. There is no combination of names that would not make your kid sound like they’re about to lead a fleet of ships out into the ocean for a treasure-hunting adventure and for that, I think this name deserves all the points.
If your name is Chaos, your life could go in many different directions. You could become a psychic at one of those yearly Halloween festivals that dresses in beautiful, dark velvet robes and predicts the future through a crystal ball. You could become a vampire in a new, edgy TV show about witches and monsters. You could be a hip barista at an all-organic smoothie restaurant. No matter what path you choose, one thing is certain: Your life will always be interesting with a name like Chaos.
What other fun words have you seen used for baby names?