Molly Thomson
October 16, 2018 12:03 pm

When it comes to the “right” way to eat a bagel, everyone has an opinion. Toasted or untoasted? Plain cream cheese or veggie? Lox and capers or keep it simple? There are as many preferences as there are people. However, almost everyone is on the same page about one crucial bagel-related issue: A bagel should not be completely plain.

According to Emojipedia, Apple has updated its forthcoming totally-plain bagel emoji to include cream cheese.

“Is it really a bagel if there isn’t a disgusting amount of cream cheese that needs to be wiped off with a napkin before you can consume it?” Nikita Richardson of Grubstreet mused. “To be frank, this bagel emoji should only be used to illustrate what kind of bagel you don’t want your friend to pick up on the way over.”

“At the very least, this thing needs to be toasted,” Jen Carlson of Gothamist lamented. “And then set on fire and shipped back to Ohio.”

Even Philadelphia Cream Cheese got in on the controversy, using public outcry to (naturally) promote its product.

The new bagel emoji has a healthy spread of cream cheese and almost hyper-realistic dough, looking more freshly-baked than store-bought (New Yorkers should be pleased). This is the biggest bagel controversy since Cynthia Nixon’s lox on a cinnamon-raisin bagel debacle, and we’re just glad it’s been resolved.

After all, it’s been a hard year. No one needs a store-bought bagel emoji.

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