Elizabeth Entenman
April 06, 2018 9:28 am
Paramount Pictures

John Krasinski and Emily Blunt’s new movie is finally here! A Quiet Place is a horror-slash-paranormal-slash-suspense movie that tells the story of a family doing anything they can to survive under deadly circumstances. Going into A Quiet Place, I didn’t know much about it beyond the film’s ominous tagline: “If they hear you, they hunt you.” Gulp.

Given that I’m not too big into scary things (for reference, Making a Murderer gave me nightmares), I didn’t know what to expect. I was prepared to be absolutely terrified. At times, I was; Krasinski, who co-wrote, directed, and stars in the film, delivers plenty of jumpy moments. But overall, it’s a phenomenal movie about two loving parents doing anything they can to protect their children.

I had a lot of thoughts while watching A Quiet Place. Like, a lot of thoughts. They ranged from reactions to plot questions to potential interview topics. There are also a few small lists I made for myself in times when I was feeling scared and wanted a little distraction. (#TeamWuss FTW.)

Here are all the thoughts I had during a Quiet Place. Spoilers ahead!

 This is the first time I’ve seen a scary movie in a theater. I hope I don’t regret this and have terrifying nightmares tonight and every night for the rest of my life.

Okay, so we’re starting on Day 89. We’re in, but we’re not in too deep yet. I respect this directorial choice, Krasinski.

What pills is Emily Blunt giving her kids?

Usually, in horror movies, daylight = everything is okay and we can all collectively exhale and recharge for a few minutes. BUT I GUESS IT’S NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THAT IN THIS MOVIE, IS IT, JOHN?

What year is it? (Picture Robin Williams in Jumanji yelling that.)

I’m feeling a little on edge and need to do something to distract myself, so let’s brainstorm names for my eventual next dog: Birdie, Cat, Tux, Reed, Cooper, Pickle, Steve.

Oh shit time jump alert, now it’s Day 472. We are *in* it now.

The idea of not being able to scream or physically react to being scared is terrifying in itself.

How do you prepare for a role like this? When there’s so little dialogue to learn? What’s that process like?

SHE’S PREGNANT?! I knew this was coming based on the trailers, but I am still, as the youths would say, “shooketh.”

It’s amazing that despite such extraordinarily bad circumstances, the family still does such normal things. Like homework.

How do you bond with a partner or with your kids when you can’t use your words?

I’ll say it: Monopoly is an underrated game. Don’t @ me. But also, it’s perhaps the loudest choice for the kids to choose in this scenario. There are so many moving pieces.

When they listen to music or close their eyes, is that dangerous? What are the rules in this place?

Why choose survival?

This living arrangement requires levels of family trust that I aspire to one day reach.

Why keep trying to live?

Do the characters have names? Does it matter?

I feel anxious and need another distraction. Here are some words that rhyme with Emily: Bemily, Shemily, Dem(m?)ily, Chemily, Gremily, Fremily, Zremily, Jemily, Tremily, Memily, Nemily, Remily. Nailed it.

I am *so* not ready to have kids.

JUST STAY BY THE WATER, JOHN. YOU CAN BE LOUD THERE. BRING THE WHOLE DAMN FAMILY AND USE YOUR WORDS FOR ONCE.

Millicent Simmonds is my style icon, thank you and goodbye.

Okay, so the son’s grave reads 2016-2020. So now it’s 2021-ish. (Full disclosure that this could be entirely wrong because I’m not good at math.)

The strength of women and mothers is on full display in this film and I am 1000% here for it.

EMILY BLUNT STEPPED ON A NAIL AND I AM NOT OKAY. I WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE OKAY. EVER AGAIN.

Where do “they” come from? Can “they” see? They’re fast. Do they disappear just as quickly as they arrive?

My new life motto: We scream when we can.

How do you stop a baby from crying? I’m actually asking.

To have to leave your baby in a box is so incredibly “wow” I do not have better words to describe it. It’s so sad that this is what’s best for their kids.

Emily is American in this! At least, I think she is. Full disclosure, I’m wearing earplugs and everything is a little muffled. SUE ME, I’M A SCAREDY CAT.

No no no no no no no no no. No.

Do we carry around more grief when we can’t talk about it?

Is the water a symbol for something? I suck at metaphors.

OMG WTF “they” can swim and this is not okay.

Okay, seriously, who are “they?!” Just tell us.

I have extreme amounts of anxiety that someone else will step on the damn nail.

But also, what do “they” want? And why?

If John Krasinski dies I will walk into the sea.

Our problems are huge when we can’t actually talk.

Wait, where did the water go? And where is the baby? Oh, there he is. Ugh, this is going to be bad.

Oh, my heart, Millicent can finally see her father’s work.

American Emily Blunt, single mom of three. I would watch that spinoff.

I hope the monster steps on the nail. #JusticeForEmily

The nail is officially the most anxiety-inducing part of this whole movie.

Well, that and the baby.

Go Millie! Go Emily! WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN and the whole damn theater cheered at the end.

Despite my unanswered questions, this was a surprisingly satisfying movie.

I will never walk down the stairs the same way again. #NailGate

A Quiet Place is now playing in theaters!

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