Karen Fratti
Updated Nov 20, 2017 @ 7:48 pm
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Sex and the City Carrie and big
Credit: HBO

Boring sex happens to the best of us, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. But it doesn’t have to be permanent. In fact, there are a ton of things you can do if you and your partner are currently in a sex rut — many of which can actually bring you closer together emotionally, too.

So before you despair, remember that even happy couples go through cycles, and your relationship absolutely isn’t doomed just because you’re not always in sync on a physical level.

In an interview with Cosmpolitan.com, Ian Kerner, PhD, and author of She Comes First said, “Even good sex can become routine. You may have an orgasm every time, but it’s a little mechanical and boring because it’s always by the same route.” Or sometimes busy schedules mean you keep missing each other when the mood strikes.

To troubleshoot your sex rut, here are a few things to try:

1Talk about it:

The first step to solving a problem is addressing that a problem exists in the first place. Just like the best relationships, the best sex is all about communication. Wendy Strgr, the CEO and founder of Good, Clean Love and author of Sex That Works, told HelloGiggles via e-mail that,

Which means everyone ends up unsatisfied. So seriously – talk it out!