How to deal when your new boo disappears for the holiday

You met on the cusp of cuffing season—late October-early November, when leaves started turning that pretty orangey red and you finally got to bust out your first date flannel—and you’ve been going strong ever since. Your “relationship” (because this post is really just about feelings and not labels) has been a mixture of dinners, concerts, drinks, late night booty calls, and even just cuddling on the couch watching “Master of None.” Everything’s been great! So great you forgot what was waiting for you around the corner: Christmas.

Now, everyone falls into one of two groups around this time of year: You either go home to wherever your family is from for the holidays, or you stay put. I…stay put. I was born and raised in Brooklyn, and I’ve dated my fair share of transplants (almost exclusively), so the feeling of holiday dread has plagued me more than once. While everyone else (including your new boo) is getting into the Christmas spirit, packing for their weeks in Michigan, California, Florida, or wherever the heck they’re from, your mind fills with doubts.

What if he has a girl back home he has unfinished business with? What if every time they see each other those feelings reemerge and the question of, “What if we try long distance?” pops up? He’s probably just cuffing season-ing me anyway and has no intention of anything serious. Just someone to spoon when it gets cold. That’s cool though. I could do that. God, I didn’t even like him a week ago and now listen to me!

If this is you, you probably know that you have a few options. You can:

Gchat, Facebook message, and text every detail to a few of your friends hoping you’ll come to some sort of resolution

You might, but you’ll still have to take action. My friends are actual geniuses when it comes to interpersonal relationships, but at the end of the day they can’t understand everything that goes on in my head or between me and someone else—and neither can your friends. Let’s rate this option: This option is meh.

“Ignore” your thoughts, go see “Joy” and “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” with some rando from Tinder, and be tortured by your boo’s Instagram posts the entire time they’re home for the holidays

If you plan on going with this one, I’d suggest you ask Santa for a new phone ’cause chances are you’re gonna throw yours out the window at some point over the next week. This option is terrible.

Tell your boo how you feel! If it seems like it’s been a reasonable amount of time—(I’m not going to tell you how long since everyone is different)—gingerly tell your boo you’re having fun, are starting to like them a little more seriously, and ask what their intentions are. Regardless of the outcome, you will feel better. Now, whether that’s immediately, in a few days, or after you remove them from every social media network (don’t forget Venmo!) depends on what they say, but this is the most mature option, and it’s the only one that will bring you any sort of resolve. This option is the best option!

Vacations of any sort can make you feel uneasy about your relationship with someone, but it can be even harder if your boo is going back to a life you know nothing about. Just take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and figure out what will make you the happiest. And if that happens to be one of those awesome new hoverboards, so be it!

[Image via Universal]

Filed Under