Whoa: Has the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle just been solved?

Stop and take a seat because the gravity of this news will probably pull you down anyway. According to The Science Channel, the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle may have been solved. All this time, we’ve been wondering if the strange disappearances of people, ships and planes were somehow related to an oceanic Loch Ness Monster, an aquatic Chupacabra or some time warp that transports stuff into alternate dimensions. But in reality, the unexplained activities happening in the Bermuda Triangle could be linked to hexagonal clouds.

As explained in a report by The Science Channel, a satellite snapped images over coastal Florida that included “a series of hexagon-shaped clouds” detected by meteorologists. The huge clouds range in size from 20-55 miles across. Coincidentally, these cloud patterns also exist over the North Sea off the coast of the United Kingdom.

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Due to an atmospheric phenomenon known as air bombs, or microbursts, the winds in these areas reach up to 100 mph. According to scientist and professor Randy Cerveny, this causes ocean waves grow to massive sizes. He pointed out in the report that these crazy weather patterns that are common in the Bermuda Triangle and the North Sea may be caused by microbursts.

So…WTF does that have to do with these clouds? Um, apparently we still don’t know because Steven Miller, a scientist who also contributed to the report, shot down claims that hexagonal clouds only occur in the aforementioned areas.

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“It is a common phenomenon occurring globally — most generally found at mid- to high latitude locations over the oceans, and usually during the cold season,” Miller told USA Today.

Also, Cerveny told USA Today that The Science Channel‘s report was a bit manipulated.

“They made it appear as if I was making a big breakthrough or something,” Cerveny said. “Sadly [that’s] not the case.”

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UGH! And we were so hopeful! It’s not every day when someone cracks the code to a mystery that’s been plaguing mankind for decades, but apparently this was just another failed attempt. Hopefully, science will get its shit together and give us something we can really work with.

In the meantime, we’ll continue avoiding flights over the Bermuda Triangle because the workweek’s coming to a close and vanishing into thin air isn’t on our list of fun weekend activities.