The Muppets in ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol,’ ranked

It’s time to break out the old VCR and pop in The Muppet Christmas Carol tape you’ve had since 1992. This Muppet beauty is by far one of the best Muppet movies ever made, and heck, it’s one of the best Christmas movies ever made, too. The film not only showcases our favorite pals — from Kermit, to Fozzie, and Sam the Eagle — but manages to tell the classic story of A Christmas Carol, too.

Muppets + Charles Dickens? Seriously, what more could you want out of LIFE? Answer: nothing.

So since we’re full-on into the holiday spirit, there’s no better time to look at ALL the Muppets in Muppet Christmas Carol, and rank them. Because nothing says “Christmas!” like ranking Muppets. Rankings are based on how much they do in the movie, how funny they are, and if they’re secretly a terrifying Muppet (some of them are).

27. The Ghost Of Christmas Future

NO. TOO SCARY. This is supposed to be a children’s movie! It’s supposed to be about happiness and Christmas! Why’d you have to go and pull the Grim Reaper into this?

26. Kermit the Frog

So sorry to put Kermit at the bottom of this list, but now is not his time to shine. He kindly takes a back seat in this movie, so others can have their time in the snowy London sunshine.

25. Miss Piggy

Same with Miss Piggy. She plays Bob Cratchit’s wife, and now is not the time for Piggy to be a diva. While she still gets top billing for the movie, she’s gotta be at the bottom of the list here.

24.  Ghost of Christmas Past

No matter what way you look at the Ghost of Christmas Past, she is one scary Muppet. Imagine her showing up next to your bed at 1am.

23. This Giant Spider Muppet

WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE A GIANT MUPPET SPIDER? WHO? Muppets are not supposed to haunt your dreams. Also, its face looks like Oscar the Grouch.

22. Fozzie Bear

Docking points from Fozzie because I want to know how he manages to run a successful rubber chicken factory in Victorian London. And how Scrooge, knowing what we know about Scrooge, willingly works there.

21. This Muppet just chilling on the roof

I have no idea who this Muppet is. It’s hard to Google “Muppet + purple hair + staff + sitting on a roof” and get a straight answer. But I respect this Muppet for doing all of those things, I just wish I knew his name so he could become my favorite Muppet.

20. Sam the Eagle

Sam the Eagle is my favorite Muppet, and I want to rank him higher, but he doesn’t get enough screen time. However he still needs to be included in the middle of the pack, and he still manages to talk a little bit about democracy and honor.

19. The Mice

The mice would rank higher on the list simply out of sheer cuteness, but I really don’t like how they rhyme “No cheeses for us meeses” during the song, “Scrooge.” I get that they’re mice, but they should be mice who have their rhyming down pat.

18. Animal

Learning from experience, if you don’t include Animal in something, he gets a little out of hand.

17. The Penguins

Of course the penguins are skating on Christmas Eve. OF COURSE. I just wish they had more to do, you know?

16. Robin the Frog, aka Tiny Tim 

Doesn’t really add anything to the movie, but also doesn’t take anything away. He’s simply really cute. And OMG when he dies in the alternate future timeline? Whether it’s 1992 or 2015, you cry.

15. The Rats

Kermit’s song, “One More Sleep ‘Til Christmas,” is made 15x better by the rats that dance around Scrooge’s office, trying to clean up. The rats are always good comic relief.

14. Doctor Bunsen and Beaker

They’re just trying to collect money for charity, and Scrooge is all “BAH HUMBUG.” However, poor Beaker has been bah humbug’ed one too many times, and is now terrified of basically everything. As usual.

13. Swedish Chef (bonus, Grapes)

Eh, all he’s really here to do is prepare food at the holiday day party, but whatever the Swedish Chef does is great. He gets bonus points for unveiling singing grapes, because I’ve got a thing for fruit that sing.

12. The Lobsters hanging out the window

Don’t want to point out the obvious, but what are these lobsters doing hanging out of a window… in the middle of winter… in London? But hey, you do you, lobsters.

11. Piggy’s Daughter

Like mother, like daughter.

10. Ghost of Christmas Present

The Ghost of Christmas Present is the best ghost out of the three that visit Scrooge. You want to hang out with the Ghost of Christmas Present IRL, and maybe go grab dinner and see a movie. He seems fun.

9. The singing food

Fact: The world needs more singing vegetables.

8. That Muppet Bunny

Let’s talk about this Muppet Bunny for a second. It’s… kinda scary, right? Like, the bunny doesn’t really look like a Muppet, you know? After spending LOTS OF TIME staring at this Muppet Bunny, trying to figure out why it looks different and why it also looks so familiar, I realized that it’s the bunny looks exactly like the bunny from Honey, I Blew Up The Baby. Also a 1992 Disney movie.

6. & 7. Old Sam the Eagle and Old Fozzie Bear

You know in your heart that Sam the Eagle is already wise and old beyond his years. So actually seeing him old is no big thing. Fozzie on the other hand… why is he green? Doesn’t matter, it’s funny.

5. Gonzo

There’s no way not to love Gonzo, and he shines throughout the movie as narrator Charles Dickens. We wouldn’t have A Christmas Carol without either one of these guys, both man and Muppet. Have the Muppets thought of doing A Tale of Two Cities?

4. Bean Bunny

Look at cute little Bean Bunny, just trying to sing his Christmas carols for mean old Mr. Scrooge! Don’t let the haters get you down, Bean.

3. Young Waldorf and Statler

Have we ever seen young Waldorf and Statler before? No, and we should see them more often. Have the Muppets ever considered a prequel/origin story for these two? I’d watch it.

2. Ghost Waldorf and Statler

They have the best song from the movie. Also, these Muppet-ghosts are slightly terrifying. I might still be scared of them. But at the same time, they’re awesome.

1. Rizzo the Rat

Rizzo is by far the true star of a Muppet Christmas Carol. That’s because he plays himself throughout the whole movie. Everyone else gets an actual role, while Rizzo gets to keep on being his lovable, cranky, and always hungry self. At one point during the movie he eats what appears to be a burrito. You keep doing you, Rizzo. We love you for it.

(Images via Disney)