Mindy Kaling says people have trouble with “women who don’t hate themselves,” and it’s a sad truth

There’s no denying that Mindy Kaling is goals—she’s a showrunner, actress, and best-selling author, and she seems to genuinely love the skin she’s in. Which—as she noted in a recent speech—isn’t always easy, or even encouraged, for women. During Glamour’s 2018 Women of the Year Summit on November 11th, the Mindy Project star noted that some people are “turned off” by her confidence.

"It's not that I'm into myself," she said. "It's that I don't hate myself. In my career, a lot of people have a problem with being around women who don't hate themselves. Never hate yourself."

We are so here for Kaling’s observation. Women are still socialized to downplay their accomplishments, to apologize before contributing in meetings, and to generally take up as little space in a room or situation as possible. And when they don’t? They’re hit with labels like “conceited,” “arrogant,” and, yes, “bitchy.” And it hasto stop.

Kaling’s advice for women looking to build their confidence and make their dreams come true is to always feel prepared. “I always just did the legwork, and it meant I never came to anything unprepared,” she said. “The only reason I was able to be confident was because I literally couldn’t not be confident with the amount of research and preparation I did,” she said.

Thank you for your wisdom, Mindy. We’re taking note.

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