A millennial relationship expert gave us her best advice for dating and finding love, and you’re going to want to take notes

If you’re young and single, you know it’s rough out there. Between fuccbois on Tinder and self-esteem killing trolls on social media, the modern dating world can be savage. That’s why we decided to ask an expert for some millennial dating advice.

Meet Alysha Jeney, a 30-year-old married relationship counselor based in Denver, Colorado. Yep, you read that right  — she’s a counselor, a millennial herself, and she’s in a successful long-term relationship. Talk about the ideal expert.

Jeney, who is also the founder of the subscription-based Modern Love Box for couples, has been with her partner for about a decade, and has been in private practice for three years. She sees about 20 to 25 clients per week, mostly couples but many individuals, too, and the majority of her clients are young — age 25 to 33. The number one thing single millennials are struggling with? Surprise surprise, says Jeney — it’s the inability to connect deeply with a potential romantic partner.