The 1975 singer’s reason for not wanting to date Taylor Swift is pretty sexist

What do Calvin Harris, Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles, Taylor Lautner, and John Mayer have in common? They’ve all, at one time or another, been the object of Taylor Swift’s affection. She’s a lovely person, but it’s no secret that when you date Taylor Swift, you definitely know what you’re getting into: Your every moment will be watched and your every move will be scrutinized. Them’s the facts.

In a recent interview with Q Magazine, Matt Healy spoke very openly about the prospect of dating the pop superstar, even though he’s technically never been one of Tay’s suitors. The lead singer of The 1975 had a lot to say, and not all of it was positive. He spoke up about that one time that the media kind of thought there might be something between them. (Spoiler alert: There wasn’t.)

“I don’t do anything else, right, so it doesn’t leave a lot of room for me going out, or shagging someone,” Matt said. “So the one time I did have a flirtation with a girl it ends up going everywhere…. I mean, I got on E! News and people were like, ‘Who’s Matt Healy?’ so that was cool.”

The girl he’s referencing, of course, is Taylor. Matt was not thrilled to be called out in the media as “that guy who flirted with America’s favorite pop star.” And we get it. But what he said next was not cool.

“If I had gone out with Taylor Swift I would’ve been, ‘Fucking hell! I am NOT being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend,’” he said. “You know, ‘FUCK. THAT.’ That’s also a man thing, a de-masculinating, emasculating thing.”

Okay, time out. If Matt thinks that dating Taylor Swift makes you less of a man, that has nothing to do with Taylor and everything to do with him. We’ve all seen her relationships unfold in the media and heard the details of her breakups in her songs. But even if Matt interpreted Taylor’s dating behavior as emasculating—reminder, they’ve never actually dated so he’s speaking purely based on conjecture—Taylor doesn’t decide if he feels emasculated. He does. It’s one thing to get down about being scrutinized in the public eye so much because you’re dating a famous person, but it’s quite another to feel emasculated by your partner’s success and resulting recognition. That’s just lame.

Message received: Matt Healy doesn’t want to date Taylor Swift. Which is fine with her, because she just celebrated one happy year with loving boyfriend Calvin Harris—who most likely feels empowered by being romantic partners with such a successful, talented woman.