Man Survives Freak Pineapple Attack

Not ready for summer yet? Well, you better buckle your seatbelt because — unofficially — summer has arrived, and the spotlight is on it. It’s Memorial Day weekend, y’all! And just like NeNe Leakes, when summer walks into the room, summer owns it.

So, before you make a run to Costco (that is, unless you hate grocery shopping all together) to pick up some last-minute provisions for potential guests, check out the latest edition of “The Week In WHAT?!

One If By Land, Two If By Pineapple?

While cable TV shows may have you fearing the zombie apocalypse or a vampire attack, you may want to watch your back the next time you encounter pineapple. At least that’s how one warehouse employee might be feeling right now after being buried alive underneath 1,500 pounds of the sweet fruit with a prickly exterior. OUCH! As if the idea of an IRL pineapple avalanche isn’t shocking enough, the man reportedly never lost consciousness. Hopefully he’ll get some delicious revenge over the summer.

We Could Be (Super)Heroes

Looking to get in touch with your inner Tony Stark? Well, if you’re a member of the armed forces, you may be slowly inching closer to making that dream a reality. Developers are hard at work on robot exoskeleton suits that could turn the U.S. military into a full-fledged “Iron Man” army. As with many other modern day technological advances, things are moving quite fast. “In the next five years we’re going to see more and more exoskeletons out there in practice,” revealed Arizona State University engineering professor Thomas Sugar. If that’s not sweet enough, some of the devices will enhance the lives of people dealing with issues related to lower-body paralysis. #TeamScienceFTW

2013: A Lizard Space Odyssey

On the next episode of “Animals in Space” — OK, that’s not really a thing, but shouldn’t it be? Russian scientists will evaluate a group of lizards and mice that survived an entire month up in space all by their lonesome. Unfortunately, some of their companions (i.e. other species) didn’t fare as well and died as the result of a technical error. Prior to this particular experiment, the longest non-human intergalactic expedition lasted 12 days, and that was way back when. You know, in 2007. Flash-forward six years to today: the researchers will mine data based on the surviving animals in the hopes of one day sending man to Mars and back. Seriously, #TeamScienceFTW AGAIN!

There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand Walls

No, this isn’t an episode of Pawn Stars, it’s real life! A Minnesota man purchased a house in the Elbow Lake neighborhood, and while in the process of renovating the property, he stumbled upon an incredible discovery. David Gonzalez demolished one of the walls only to uncover a 1938 Action Comics #1 comic book, which allegedly marks the introduction of Superman into the comic universe. Sadly, while celebrating the find, the book suffered a tear and lost it’s top dollar value. However, since he only paid $10K for the house itself, the fact that the ripped comic could fetch well over $100K already means he’ll net at least ten times the return on investment. There’s something you won’t see on HGTV!

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via FlickRiver.