I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for advice columns and reality dating shows. I am of the Sex And The City-obsessed generation. I give unsolicited dating advice to my friends that I myself can’t follow. But every once in a while, I’ll come across a “this is why you’re single,” article on my Facebook feed and I just. Cannot. Even. Finish. My sentence. Because garbage like this sets women back 100 years.
For starters, being single isn’t a disease. it’s not the plague or a life sentence. Being single is fabulous. And I’d rather be single than settle or be miserable in a relationship that I can’t figure out how to end.
There was the piece about how good girls are like unicorns, or the 24 signs that she’s a slut, with broad statements like “she has a tattoo,” or “she has piercings in places other than her earlobe.” Yep, that makes sense. Let’s just generalize all women based on their appearance. And if men do the same, it’s fine because, boys will be boys!
Then there was the piece that set me over the edge: 8 Reasons Why New York Women Can’t Land a Husband. Cause you know, that’s why women move across the country, away from their family, friends and all that is familiar to them. TO. LAND. A HUSBAND.
Who needs a career when you can have a husband?! Because that’s why women get college degrees today, to get married.
While I don’t live in New York, I was born there. I visit often and have many friends living and dating there. I’ve dated in NY and LA and there are many similarities in the sense that both are very career-focused and competitive cultures. This article made such allegations like, you can’t land a husband because you drink too much, you’re too sexually free, you wear too much black, you’re glued to your iPhone, you order takeout, you’re dating co-workers, you’re spending too much time with your gay best friend and you’re ignoring your biological clock.
Hey! The 1950s called they want their “advice,” back. It makes sense as this advice is coming from Susan Patton AKA the Princeton Mom. She’s gotten a lot of backlash for her dated dating advice. But she’s not alone. I see more and more pieces like this each day. And in the ‘am I a feminist?/ What is feminism?/ Is feminism a bad thing?’ world we live in, I encourage women dating in a metropolis to not to take this advice to heart, or rather ask yourself this question: Do you want to be with someone who thinks of women this way? Do you want to date someone who judges women if they have tattoos or piercings? Who thinks it repulsive if you drink, who does all the things Susan claims as the reason why you’re single, but if you do them, he thinks less of you?
Maybe this is why these articles won’t stop. After all, freedom of speech also applies to the close-minded. All we can do is be ourselves and realize someone who doesn’t like you for who you are, your past, your present and your future, isn’t worth your time.
Image via here.