Sarah May Bates
June 24, 2014 4:47 pm

There’s nothing worse than not being able to enjoy a great experience because something is stuck in your head that won’t go away.

It happens when you feel bad about something, anything, and your brain is making you witness it over and over again. Maybe it’s an impending doom or something you wish you could change, but what you must remember is that you don’t have to experience this thought or feeling. It’s totally optional. In fact, you can decide to not experience it at all. It doesn’t mean that thing is not something you believe to be true, it just means you can decide you’re not going to waste any time at all being bummed about it. Why? Because it’s wasted energy.

All negativity is wasted energy that can be changed with something as simple as a conscious decision. Negativity is only hurting you – no one else. Therefore, it’s worthless and unloving—not to mention, counterproductive. It doesn’t serve your fight or flight instincts, it just emotionally drains you and distracts you from more important things like action. It’s sucking away motivation you could otherwise apply toward something positive and productive, like feeling gratitude for what you do have that’s great in your life. Think about that for a moment.

Do you have that voice in your head that mournfully whispers, “I feel bad. . .” or “I should have. . .” and makes you stay partially stuck to a negative feeling for hours on end? That feeling can be minor, but nagging, almost like a small leech attached to your arm, ever-present and occasionally giving you a tiny tinge of pain, but otherwise bearable. Well this, too, is worthless and an unwelcome squatter in your energetic and optimistic mind.  It can and should be halted at the first recognition of experiencing it.  As soon as you realize you’re being partially occupied by any worry of any size, rip that little sucker off and chuck it at the wall! That mental energy is very valuable and is only worthy of good things – like savoring your present with all of your senses and replaying experiences that make you happy and grateful. Say it aloud: All worry is wasted.

Despite how logical you might think your negative thoughts are, they are completely unnecessary and in your power to change. You gain nothing by worrying – in fact, by allowing it any thought you are adding to the problem and increasing its weight.  Everything is a decision. Worry is a decision. You can accept that this thing that is bothering you has happened or might happen, and know that there is absolutely nothing you can change about that in your present moment. Let it go. If it’s not about a person you care about and their health and well-being, then this thing is not worth your mental focus. Never get upset over little stuff. Life is much too precious and valuable for you to waste your energy and time over stuff. Stuff will have no weight at the end of your lifetime. Let it go and live your present moment.

If you find you are occupied by something more serious, perhaps someone you love or a health problem, the best thing you can do is send positive energy. You help no one by dwelling in the negative. If you’re finding it’s impossible to remove yourself from the worry, or you’ve tried repeatedly and it pesters you in the back of your mind, take a moment to acknowledge it. Focus on a positive outcome and/or the person you are worried about. Imagine them, send them love and your energy so that they feel surrounded by healing. The next time you do something fun and soothing like yoga or an exercise routine, dedicate that practice to them. Visualize them and send them your energy and love. If you feel worry coming back into your mind, do the same thing again. Send love and well-wishing to the person you are worried about. If it’s a positive outcome you are wanting, hold your hand on your heart and breathe deeply in and out, very slowly. Picture white light and happiness filling your heart. Imagine this positive outcome occurring and smile.

No matter how dire a problem might seem, if you decide you are not going to dedicate any of your energy to worrying about it, you can avoid hours or even days of what would have been emotional torture. It’s like you just get to skip that part – all of it, and life goes on. You might be shocked to realize that it’s that simple – a decision to not waste any energy on something that is out of your control. It doesn’t mean you don’t have to deal with the solution, but the solution is always going to be the same. This mindset just means you get to not feel crappy about it – which you’ll realize is truly the worst part of all.

The next time something happens that you would normally get really upset about and bully yourself over, try deciding to let it go immediately. Say to yourself: “Nope, all worry is wasted energy. I can’t do anything about it now, so instead I choose to trust myself and the universe and know that I will be just fine.” If there’s a lesson to be learned, acknowledge it, recite it to yourself, and know that you will not repeat the problem. Trust that everything happens for a reason, and you will likely see that this experience happened for a very good reason yet to be revealed to you.

Once you make a commitment to never dwell in negativity, accept the hurdles you encounter in life, and always try your best, you will find that your whole outlook on life opens up. There are millions more opportunities to rise above pain of all kinds – whether it be anger, stress, or hurt feelings. Go through the process of accepting, forgiving, and letting that stuff go. Treat it like a step-by-step process. Stop focusing on what is out of your control. Send positive energy toward the things in your heart that need it. You might find that you’re happier and more empowered than you ever were before.

For a couple emotional power-ups, you can check out my new podcast here. And as always, sending you my love.

xox Sarah May B.

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