Leslie Tulip
June 14, 2016 1:49 pm
Getty / Hero Images

When I was dating my now-husband, I remember hitting a point in our relationship where we were past the early-relationship jitters that every couple faces and we really started to hit things in stride. We’d have tough discussions and come out of them feeling closer than we had before. We realized we never got sick of each other, no matter how much time we spent together. Things that we both had experienced negatively in past relationships we found to be positive with each other. I remember realizing that being together was just easy.

You’ve probably heard it said that it’s great to be with someone that challenges you. But often that statement is followed by a joke about how much that person drives you insane. When you are with someone who is similar to you, you can still challenge each other, but it doesn’t have to be a confrontational thing.

I have heard a lot of couples sum up their relationship in the words, “We fight a lot, but we love each other.” I know a lot of couples that are each other’s opposite in nearly every way, and they appreciate the differences and conflicts that arise because of it. To me, however, having a partner so similar to me is what adds life to our relationship. I appreciate the fact that my husband and I generally want to do the same things, go the same places, and do the same activities. We avoid so many small and large arguments and discussions just because we want so many of the same things.

Here are six reasons it makes our relationship work so well:

1. We find the same things funny.

We’re constantly texting each other articles, GIFs, and YouTube clips throughout the day that we know the other will find funny because we find the same dumb stuff hilarious. Example: a few weeks ago we cried laughing at this video and haven’t stopped quoting it since. We’re also pretty sure no one we know will find it as hilarious as we do.

2. We have similar personalities.

When it comes to personality tests, we are both borderline extrovert/introverts. We are all for going to shows and going out with friends, but we will never say no to reading books at a coffee shop or on our couch all day long. Because our social habits line up well we are not faced with dragging each other to something the other would not enjoy.

3. We never argue over how to spend a weekend.

Hiking, beach, coffee shop, Netflix, going out for drinks. We have our go to ways to spend a weekend on lockdown. That doesn’t mean we never try a new adventure, but we don’t have to worry about grating on each other because we have a stable of shared activities.

4. We share cooking and chores evenly.

Before getting married we did a little workbook to discuss where we landed on the spectrum of different things, cooking and cleanliness being a couple of those. We both love cooking, and we both will do the cleaning to keep our apartment nice and cozy. This is a huge point of contention for most couples, so it’s big to know your expectations of each other before you live together. Maybe one of you does all the cooking and the other does all the cleaning. Whatever your balance, make sure you know what you expect from one another and that you divide and conquer.

5. We have similar career goals.

It is so fun to be with someone who is also passionate about writing and stories. We get to help each other write, edit, and share story ideas because we share that same interest.

6. We have the same views on spending money.

Another big one for couples, if one of you is a compulsive spender and the other is a saver it can get rocky. We have found our sweet spot of saving for the future while still enjoying and treating ourselves now and then in the present. Talking about money can be uncomfortable, but it will help your relationship to know what your budget is and be mindful of each other in what you spend money on.

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