Why I'm not rushing into motherhood, even though I really want to be a mom
I am newly married, and both my husband and I already melt when we’re around babies.
We look forward to being parents, but we are aware that where we are in life right now, being together without kids, is a rare and special time. I don’t want to rush into motherhood and realize I missed out on the opportunity to be newlyweds. Having kids would not ruin this time, and it certainly won’t be the end of our relationship as we know it, but there are choices and memories we can make right now that we won’t be able to once kids are in the picture.
I used to work at a group home for pregnant and parenting teen girls. I know that having a child does not have to stop your goals and dreams, but it definitely adds a new element of challenge to achieving them. I think it’s worth being as ready as you can be to be a parent before you become a parent, if possible.
I want to figure out my career first. A career changes so much from your mid-twenties to mid-thirties. Hell, mine has changed more than I’d like in the past year alone. There is a level of comfort and stability that comes with being established in your career that I want before I take on being a working mom.
I want to travel just the two of us first. I have traveled a little on my own, but I want to travel a lot with my husband while we only have to buy two plane tickets and don’t need to worry about where our baby would sleep in a hostel/hotel/Airbnb. Once we have seen the world, we can take our kids back for the second time.
I want to be able to sleep for a while yet. Let’s be real, having a baby means saying goodbye to sleeping. I like sleep, I already wish I got to do it more, so I am not ready to give up precious sleep time just yet. I want to build our foundation as a married couple first. As I said, I’m new to marriage, and I want to pour my time and energy into that relationship for a few years before we bring another human being into the equation.
I want to semi-be-able-to-afford having a kid. Kids are expensive, more expensive than I care to know the details of right now. I didn’t go into debt getting married and I do not want to go into debt having kids. I want to be sure we can support our kids to the best of our ability.
I know that it’s naive to think that anyone can ever be fully ready to be a parent. But I want to wait until I feel like my life is ready to take on the joy and challenge of motherhood.