Dr. McDreamy, Zach Morris, Harvey Spector, Nate Archibald, Dylan McKay, Lieutenant Kelly Severide, Randy Taylor. Chances are, you can pick at least one name in this lineup that made you a little weak in the knees slash convinced you that you’d found your husband and it was only a matter of time before you two had a pair of French bulldogs, a fancy espresso machine and a house by the beach (just me?).
And while that scenario sounds nice, it also sounds kind of meh. What about the underdog? Who doesn’t love an underdog? Or a guy who can take you by surprise?
When I was younger, I was all about whoever was the biggest hunk on a TV show. And yes, back then we said words like “hunk.” But as I got a little older, I noticed a new trend in my television heart. First, I was passionately Team Pacey during the Dawson’s Creek days. Then, I fell hard for the O.C.’s Seth Cohen. It was the era of the other cute guy on a show, and I was all in.
And today? I go for some of TV’s most unlikely bachelors. So I thought I’d share a few of the TV characters I would seriously date. And, Ben Schwartz, if you’re reading this, call me.
Jean Ralphio Saperstein, Parks and Recreation
The completely genius character-creation of Jean Ralphio (played by Ben Schwartz) is so endearing I could cry. If you asked him, he’d describe himself as a pickup artist and playboy, but it is always painfully clear that he is neither. He sings ridiculous phrases and made-up slang, he raps, always adding one extra word to the couplet and ruining the rhyme, and he is a true blue friend to Aziz Ansari’s Tom Haverford. The thing that makes him so crush-worthy are the moments of sincerity and the fact that you truly never know what he is going to say next. Can you say sweet, surprising boyfriend? I CAN.
Any character played by Kyle Mooney, Saturday Night Live
I’m going to pull the TV equivalent of “Oh yeah I saw them play in a tiny venue like 7 years ago so, yeah, I definitely know that band,” and say that I’ve been a fan of Mooney’s long before he appeared on SNL. His YouTube channel is filled with a sports interviewer bit that if you weren’t madly in love with him, might make you die of embarrassment. He has a subtlety to his humor that is so fresh, and just hearing his voice can make me laugh. A favorite has got to be this SNL Digital Short about an unlikely fraternity pledge process.
Maybe it’s the glasses (he must be intellectual!). Maybe it’s his terrible game with women (he means well!). Maybe it’s how he is continuously the butt of all the jokes but takes it like a champ (what a tender soul!). Whatever the dark magic is that causes someone to be attractive, he’s got it. If you haven’t been watching this new NBC comedy, might I suggest you give it a chance (take a chance on love, for goodness sakes!). The #1 hunk is probably supposed to be Danny (Chris D’Elia) and I guess that makes hunk #2 Justin (Brent Morin), so let’s hear it for hunk #3 (whose real name is Rick Glassman, by the way) and our future children with curly brown hair and an offbeat sense of humor.
Morgan Tookers, The Mindy Project
I’m having a hard time writing about Morgan (played by Ike Barinholtz) because he feels so sacred to me. From the first episode where Morgan applies to work at Mindy’s practice, I knew he was the one for me. He is a complete mess, but his loyalty and spirit make up for it over and over again. I’m not alone, either. People love him and I would choose him over Danny or Jeremy or any of Mindy’s boyfriends any day. I’ll close with a Morgan quote that might make you all mushy on the inside: “It’s not the skimpy outfits that make nurses sexy, it’s the helping people that makes us sexy.”
Jim Harper, The Newsroom
Maybe this one is obvious, but during the entirety of season one, I was almost in physical pain at how much I wanted him to get together with Maggie. Jim Harper (aka John Gallagher Jr.) is that quiet but strong type who always has something smart to say. Deep down, of course, he is a total softie and his sincerity practically seeps off the screen and drowns me in a pool of love.
I guess by now it’s kinda clear I have a type (dorky, funny, sweet) but am I alone here? Are there any unlikely, dorky TV dudes I missed that I should focus some of my crushing energy on? Please, do share. More is more, when it comes to TV crushes.