Lyndsay Rush
November 06, 2014 1:49 pm

Nothing can make single people cringe more than a terrible pickup line. But wanna know what’s even worse? A topical pick up line. And yes, that’s a thing. Topical pickup lines have some kind of general relevance to a cultural event that’s happened in the last, well, 5 years. They’re the worst kind of cheesy because they usually involve some kind of pop culture punnage. And as we all know, puns are a lot more fun to come up with than they are to hear. So please forgive us for what we’re about to do. But we’ve devised some topical pickup lines you should actually never use. Seriously, these are off limits because they’re so cheesy.

You’ve been warned:

1. “I’m prepared to love you like I love Pumpkin Spice Lattes: so much that it annoys everyone.”

2. “Are you the new iPhone 6? Because I’d wait all day for you.”

3. “Hey how about I make like Neil Patrick Harris and host you?”

4. “Wasn’t Halloween last week or do you just dress up as a gorgeous person every day?”

5. “Sorry to bother you, but my inhibitions are like a hit movie: Gone, girl.”

6. “I’m no Google Glass but I’m willing to look silly for you.”

7. “Are you a Taylor Swift song? Because you seem like one hot single.”

8. Hey baby let’s make like your family during the holidays and invade each others’ space.

And there you have it: topical pickup lines so silly they should never, ever be uttered. But thanks for indulging us.

(Images , , , , ,via)

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