Fall is here, and besides an influx of all things pumpkin spice, it’s the start of cuffing season. That time of year when summer flings come to an end and people tend to get more serious, settling down with a relationship—or at least a situationship. While I enjoy the single life and usually have a healthy dating life too, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want someone to cuddle with on a consistent basis. But with the recent demands of work and travel, it has been a bit harder to meet someone exciting. So your girl decided to once again give online dating, specifically Tinder, a try.
I’ve had a complicated relationship with Tinder. To say I’ve deleted the app a dozen times is a conservative estimate. Between the weirdo guys and conversations that never go any further than “hey, how are you?” I just felt exhausted, and eventually, the online dating fatigue became unbearable. However, I do know it’s possible to meet someone amazing on there. It’s happened for at least two of my friends who are in relationships with men they adore, and I’ve even met a great person I’m still friendly with.
But I decided that if I’m going to dive back into the world of online dating, I needed the help of a pro.
When I heard about Style My Profile, a styling service for online daters, I jumped at the chance to have the creator, Alyssa Dineen, evaluate my Tinder profile. After looking over my account, she shared the dos and don’ts for putting your best profile forward.
First up was an evaluation of my photos. I like to think I’m fairly photogenic. And as a blogger and on-air host, it’s my job to know what angles complement me—but it turns out I was making a big profile faux pas.
“I wish we could see more of your face. You’re looking to the side in the first four shots,” says Dineen. “Especially the one on the swing—I love that one but your face is shadowed.” I totally didn’t realize that most of my photos are of me doing the typical blogger pose of looking away or looking down. Cool for IG, but not when you’re trying to connect with someone.
But one thing I nailed, well, kinda sorta, was my bio. “Love your first sentence. I feel like I already have a feel for who you are in those first few words,” says Dineen. Though she did point out I had a typo in one sentence (eek!), her biggest piece of feedback was encouraging me to share a bit more:
The Style My Profile creator also explained how my choice of threads benefitted my profile. “I love that you chose a variety of shots with different sides of you—active, dressed up, fun, chic, city casual. Perfect! Since you’re a fashion girl, it makes sense that you’d show this variety—it shows how you express this interest.”
Dineen also had additional feedback that anyone on dating apps or dating sites can consider.
I specifically asked if she thinks a bio is absolutely necessary. Because, come on, does anyone even read them? Dineen believes that something should absolutely be in your bio—the longer, the better. But even just a few words will do. She sees the alternative, however, as a potential red flag.
“What [no bio] tells me is they are not serious,” Dineen says of these daters. “Either a friend forced them to get on there and set it up for them, or maybe they are just looking for a quick hookup.”
She goes on to elaborate that it’s important to stay away from mentioning things you don’t like in your bio (“no drama” or “no baggage”) instead talking about your interests. “Focus on aspects or activities that are upbeat or positive,” Dineen explains. “One example would be ‘Swipe right if you love sushi!'”
While hiring someone to evaluate your dating profile might not be your thing—or within your budget—Dineen suggests that everyone take time to assess their profile. Especially if they’re not getting the desired results.
“If you’re not getting many matches after a couple of weeks and you’re active on the app, then I would definitely examine your profile—have a friend take a look and see if there are any glaringly obvious things to edit out or add.”
After the above critiques, I definitely plan to add photos of me looking head on at the camera, and I’ll fix that damn typo. Maybe this cuffing season won’t be so bad after all…