The 11 steps to awkward flirting, as illustrated by Tina Belcher
Getting your ~romance on~ may seem easy in the movies, but IRL, it can be hard and very, very awkward. That’s exactly why Tina Belcher on Bob’s Burgers speaks to the hearts of so many of us socially awkward people. She’s got a heart for lots of love and eyes for lots of butts, but when she tries to flirt, it can get lost in translation and just turn to pure awkwardness.
Here are the 12 steps to awkwardly flirting, as illustrated by Tina Belcher. Because ROMANCE IS HARD.
Step 1: Go over the seemingly easy flirting methods in your head.
Everyone else does it! You know how to do this! Just flirt a little, wink a little, giggle. There’s nothin’ to it.
Step 2: Get your charm bomb ready for detonation.
Flip your hair and confidently walk over to that cute human. You got this.
Step 3: Rapidly realize that you are the least graceful human on the planet.
Because when you tried to cutely flip your hair, this happened:
Step 4: Get distracted from all your preparation by butts.
You see that cute butt, and all other words leave your head.
Step 5: Nervously groom yourself.
Don’t got a brush? It’s OK; you’ll improvise.
Step 6: Come up with a near-threatening line that references butts.
The butt is a must.
Step 7: Entice your cute subject with dance!
Sway those hips like you just can’t quit. (Just make sure his jerk dad isn’t around.)
Step 8: Give ’em the digits!
Preferably while somewhere uncomfortable and weird, like in the refrigerated milk section, while awkwardly assuring your cute human that your number isn’t a fake.
Step 9: Remember that no matter what happens, you’re rad.
Sure, relationships are fun, but they don’t define your self worth. You only need *you* to write steamy erotic fan-fiction.
Step 10: Remind yourself that you’re sexy as hell.
Smart. Strong. Sensual. YOU ARE ALL OF THESE THINGS, in one awesomely awkward package.
Step 11: Good job. TREAT YOURSELF.
Nice flirting. This calls for an episode of The Equestranauts.