There comes a moment in every promising dating scenario when it’s time to DTR — define the relationship. Sure, you could keep “hanging out” indefinitely, but maybe you don’t want that, or maybe your significant other (can you even call them that yet?!) doesn’t want that, or maybe you just want a good reason to delete Tinder from your phone once and for all . . . or at least for the foreseeable future. Yes, when things are going well it can be scary to actually verbalize the, “Hey, so are we exclusive?” question, but sometimes having that conversation is the best way to know where the other person’s head is at. If you’re on the fence about that whole DTR thing, here are just a few signs to be on the lookout for.
You’re already not seeing other people.
After date one, you deleted the number of that other person you were maybe supposed to meet for coffee sometime. Now, you’re spending more nights together than you do apart, and unless the other person has a time turner, you’re not sure how they’d be able to see anyone else. Why not just verbalize what’s clearly already happening?
Your heart feels like it’s going to burst every time you see them.
There’s just something about seeing them whether they’re waiting for you at a restaurant or knocking at your front door that makes your heart do a little happy dance. That’s a feeling that you just can’t make up and that you definitely shouldn’t take for granted.
You’re constantly checking your phone to see if they texted.
You two are texting all day with inside jokes, and when you haven’t heard from them in a few hours you reach out even if you have nothing to say. You just want to see their name pop up on your phone, and the feeling is mutual.
You really want to know if the other person is serious about you.
You like this person, you think maybe there could be the potential for a real relationship, but you need to know if they’re on the same page. Talking about being exclusive should sort that out pretty quickly. And hey, points for being upfront and a grown up.
You need to figure out your Valentine’s Day plans.
This may sound silly, but it’s actually serious! Should you be buying a cute new dress, or rounding up all your girlfriends to play laser tag, have drinks at your place, and otherwise avoid all locations where happy couples might be?
You like sleeping in their clothes.
They forgot a t-shirt at your apartment and you sleep in it . . . all the time. It still kind of smells like them! Who cares if you hate the band that is on the front, you like the person who owns it.
You want to sleep with someone who’s not sleeping with anyone else (and that’s ok!).
Hey! You’re being really intimate with this person and likely doing and sharing things that you wouldn’t do and share with anyone else. It’s totally fine that you want things to be exclusive. Your heart is on the line here.
You want the other person to feel comfortable and confident.
Maybe you just want the other person to know how much you like them (spoiler alert: that selflessness is a sign of just how much you like them). Making it clear you’re not interested in seeing other people is probably going to save them a lot of stress.
You’ve shared some really private stuff with them, because you trust them.
You know those late night conversations that you have over drinks or while you’re falling asleep? Well yeah, you’ve shared some pretty heavy secrets during those chats. And the best part? You never regret having shared those secrets the next morning.
You want to introduce the person to your friends.
You’re ready for your worlds to collide, so so ready. Your friends are asking about this new person in your life and your new bae is asking about all your friends. It’s time to get everyone in the same room and see how it shakes out.
You’re slowly going out of your mind wondering what the other person is thinking.
You’re crazy about them, you can’t stop thinking about them, and you really just need to know if this is a relationship or not. It’s not a crime to want to put a label on things, and anyone who makes you feel like it is probably isn’t worth your time.
You’re really incredibly happy.
Things are going so so well, and every time you’re around them you have to make a conscious effort not to let slip just how much you care. Hey, maybe it’s time to make it official.