At the end of every relationship comes the inevitable question: So… um…what should I do with your stuff?
I’m a fan of the “finders keepers” mentality. Especially if you can actually utilize their abandoned crap. But if you’re holding on to that sock, hoping he left it behind for a reason. THROW. IT. OUT.
Or maybe donate it to a museum? Museum of Broken Relationships, that is. Yep it’s real, and it contains 60 relics of broken (or indifferent) hearts on display. The museum is permanently located in Zagreb, Croatia, but, this weekend through the end of August, a special collection of donations will be on display in the Queen Elizabeth Hall in London as part of the giant “Festival of Love” exhibit.
When you think of a museum, you may think of things frozen in time. Like the dinosaur bones at the Museum of Natural History, every time you visit, you’re different. But they’re still the same.
Yes that’s a Holden Caulfieldism or as he so eloquently put, “Certain things they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.”
I guess in a way, holding on to things of relationships past is kind of like having your own personal museum. Which got me thinking about the crap we all keep after break-ups and why. With that in mind, here are a bunch of items exes have donated to the museum. If these were my relics of relationships past, I’d never give any of them away.
I’ve kept underwear after a break-up. Not THEIRs (I have some standards). But like, “oh he bought me boyshorts for Christmas because they were on sale at Urban Outfitters.” Granted those boyshorts are only worn when I REALLY need to do my laundry, which is why I will never be one of those girls who wears bikini bottoms when all her Hanky Pankys are dirty.
I’d like to file this one under “necessary household items.” Not like I keep an axe in my apartment, but I’ve kept a dustpan, a cooking pot, even shampoo from a breakup. It’s more awkward to return that stuff to them. I feel you deserve some condolence prize from all the anguish they put you through.
A Garden Gnome
Or any household decorations. My guess is this couple lived together. He moved out. And left her with a broken heart and Nancy, the mutated garden gnome. Oh gnome he didn’t!
A Bundle Of Dreadlocks
To represent the amount of hair that grew during the relationship? Sure. That’s why I always get a haircut after a break-up. Gotta wash that man right out of my hair. I’m pretty sure this is what South Pacific was about.
A Teddy Bear With An “I Love You” Heart
You asked for Tiffany’s. He gave you this sad commercial excuse for a Valentine’s Day present. Keep this as a reminder to never ever drunk text him.
A Wedding Album
I can equate this to photo booth pictures, which you don’t want to throw out. Not because you care about his stupid face, but because you look really good in the kissy face photo. Here’s a tip: next time do a selfie or try to stay at least a foot away from him, for easier Instagram cropping later.