It isn’t always easy finding the right person, especially in an age where compliments are given with a like, or dates are decided with a left or right swipe. It seems as though intimacy is fleeting and relationships are rare. So you try to look in all the right places. You actually make an effort to put yourself out there and you’re wondering when you’ll find that special someone—that diamond in the rough. It’s tough to find the right person, but I have one word that helps: L.A.U.G.H. Here’s how it works
L is for loyal
Have you found someone who is willing to stick with you? I’m always looking for someone who can be friends first, and know that I have their back. If you find that the person you have feelings for is constantly ditching you for his/her other friends, or is blowing you off after making plans—fahgettaboudit. If you’re not worth their time, their not worth your time.
A is for attraction (because, yeah, it matters)
Attraction is important. Don’t guilt yourself into pretending to like someone if you know deep down you really aren’t into them. It’s okay to have preferences. Sometimes people are really sweet, but you aren’t really attracted to them physically. Sometimes people are really good looking, but their personalities leave much to be desired. Just.Don’t.Settle. It’s not fair to you or them. Remember, there’s someone for everyone, don’t just take whoever is nice to you, or whoever is good-looking, because someone special is out there who has a lot of everything you love about a partner and they’re looking for someone like you, too. When you settle, you’re not letting that prospective lover, or yourself, live up to their/your fullest potential(s).
U is for unique
You are an individual. You are unique. So is your counterpart. Therefore, you both have to let each other be who you are. Grow with each other. Learn with each other. Experience new activities with each other. You cannot be with someone who puts you down or makes you feel silly because of your interests. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand your dreams and goals is probably one of the worst things you can do to yourself because your partner should be your support group. Should you choose to binge-watch television shows all week, your partner better be there with pizza and brownies. Even if you’re different (which is a good thing!) you should be able to fit together like the unique puzzle pieces you are.
G is for generous
Find someone who is genuinely good to you. Generosity isn’t all about money, either. Is this person you’ve met generous with their time? Their patience? Their resources? Have you found someone who is willing to sit down, listen to your problems, and give you some guidance? Do they care and remember what is special to you? A quality partner makes sacrifices. They exhibit kindness while everyone else appears too busy. They are also generous with affection and compliments.
H is for honesty
A lasting relationship cannot exist without honesty. It has to be open and aware and communication is key. Say you made a mistake, letting lies and elaborations fester only makes you feel worse and ultimately causes trust to take a longer time to regrow–nobody wants that. Usually being honest from the start, stops things from escalating into problems that should have never been there to begin with. Find someone who will sit in a clear, safe atmosphere with you so you both can share your thoughts. You should be able to trust your partner and being vocal every now and then allows that trust to flourish. Forget about anybody who finds it’s easier to lie to you, they’re only lying to themselves and are clearly not giving you enough credit.
L.A.U.G.H. loud and hard and stick with the people who make you feel better about yourself and your life. Forget about the game players. You deserve the best. Your prospective partner is out there and he/she is waiting for you. All you have to do is step back, relax, open your eyes and learn to L.A.U.G.H.
Jaye Freeland is an actor, writer, independent filmmaker, and musician with a zest for life and a penchant for the cozy, curious and antiquated. It is her goal to positively change the world by means of her vivid storytelling, performances and conservation work. Jaye also enjoys gardening, longboarding, stargazing and is always up for an adventure. Follow her on Twitter @Land0ftheFree and YouTube @JayeFreeland
[image via NBC]