We’ve all been told you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince (or princess), but no one ever tells you that it’s really hard to stop worrying that said prince might actually be a toad in disguise. After you’ve been fooled and disappointed a few times, it’s understandable to think something is too good to be true.
It can be a challenge for any of us to just trust, to accept that someone who presents themselves as a quality human is, in fact, a keeper. But not trusting can be a relationship killer. Having that constant paranoia and suspicion that the seemingly good thing you’re in is actually going to crumble is a sure-fire way to ruin everything or at the very least, keep you from enjoying the moment.
So, anytime you second guess your amazing relationship, remember these words of wisdom a family friend once relayed to me, “Life can be good and stay good.” Just because every other romance you’ve had went up in flames doesn’t mean this one is headed for the same sorry fate. Here’s how to stop waiting for your relationship to fail.
As Lyndsay Rush wrote earlier this summer, thinking about your relationship all the time is a super-damaging habit.. Don’t replay every single interaction in your head wondering if you said the wrong thing or your partner displayed a hint of apathy about something. If you overthink the relationship, you’re going to drive yourself nuts and possibly confuse the person you’re with.
Enjoy the good times you have
It can be hard but the right thing to do is indulge the really awesome times as they come. Just because you’re having fun now doesn’t mean you’ll be punished with relentless misery to make up for the joy later. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it, and don’t assume it’s going to break at some point. Maybe it’ll need some TLC after a while, but, unless there are serious red flags to the contrary, trust that what you have is sturdy.
Allow for bad/off days
We all go through days, weeks or even months when our relationships face setbacks. If you’re going to be with somebody for a long period of time, you could face extended low points, but that doesn’t mean the relationship as a whole is doomed. Don’t freak out over bad or off days with your significant other. They make the good times that much better.
Don’t worry about outsiders’ opinions
At the end of the day, the relationship is between you and your partner. Your friends and family might have some interesting insight into your relationship, but don’t get caught up in the perspectives of others.
Remember that history doesn’t always repeat itself
The key is to stop dwelling on bad memories or assuming every person is going to be like the thoughtless ones from the past. They’re not all the same.
Know your value
Whomever you’re with picked you for a reason. You’re smart, talented, funny, adorable, and wonderful to be around. Don’t ever think you don’t deserve the spectacular love you’re getting. You’re more than worth it, and once that becomes clear to you, your anxieties about the relationship will significantly decrease.