Raven Ishak
Updated February 07, 2020
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HelloGiggles

From the time we’re born, women are instructed by society to follow its rules. We’re told to smile to make other people feel comfortable, we’re informed it looks bad to boast about our accomplishments, and we’re forced to wait for our turn to become a part of industries that are mostly dominated by males. But in a society (and, let’s be honest, a world) where we’re constantly “encouraged” to stay in our lane, you would assume that we would have full autonomy of our bodies and pleasures. Unfortunately, that’s not the case…until now.

As we not only enter a new year but also a new decade, we, as women, are taking hold of our sexuality by the reins. We’re no longer putting others’ desires before our own, we’re no longer letting other people control what we consider to be pleasurable, and we’re definitely not allowing others to prevent us from asking for what we want sexually.

No, this time, we’re putting our pleasure first, without shame and guilt—and we’re doing it without anyone’s permission.

For decades, the media and entertainment industry have both showcased sexual pleasures, fantasies, and relationships through the male viewpoint. They’ve shown women wearing unrealistic attire, placed us in situations that we wouldn’t be caught in, and put our values as humans on the back-burner. But women have been taking control of their narratives these past couple of years on the big and small screen, with works such as Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag and Issa Rae’s Insecure. It’s time to break that fourth wall by bringing that same sexual autonomy into our own personal lives. Why? Well, frankly, we’re tired of being quiet, and we’re also tired of…having bad sex.

That’s why in this month-long series, the HelloGiggles team is tackling the current State of Female Pleasure. Throughout the month of January, we’ll be honing in on what women consider pleasurable and how we plan on asking for and talking about it. From investigating the use of CBD alongside sexual activities to discussing what kind of feminist porn sites are available for us to use to reconnect to and navigate pleasure after physically and mentally traumatic events.

Whether you’re trying to reclaim your sexual power or simply looking to try new things, our aim is to empower you and make you feel like your needs and desires are heard. Keep checking back here for all your pleasure needs. Because the truth is, we’re tired (and have been tired) of being secretive about what turns us on and we’re no longer afraid to ask for what we want. This is our time to put our pleasure first—and we’re only going forward from here.

Bridget Badore