How to Discover the Power of Your Yoni, According to Sex Experts
Do you know how amazing and powerful your vagina really is? I mean, sure, you know that it can push out a tiny human, and some of you might've been told once or twice that it was "magical" from a sexual partner. But what if I told you that your vagina (or yoni) is even more special than that? That it's a space that can hold creative, sensual, and life-affirming energy for all people with a vulva? That it's both sacred and sexual, and when you tap into its powers, hoo boy, look out—it's hella transformative.
Because that's the truth behind your yoni. If you're curious about what exactly a yoni is and how to tap into its power, read on for more.
What is a yoni?
Yoni is a Sanskrit word derived from Hinduism that means "source," "womb" or "vagina."
"From a physiological perspective, the yoni is the erogenous zone between our legs," Coltrane Lord, a conscious intimacy and relationship expert, tells HelloGiggles. "The female external anatomy of this sexual center consists of the mons [pubis], clitoris, clitoral hood, labia majora, labia minora, vaginal introitus, and perineum."
A clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings that have no other purpose but to induce pleasure and orgasm. However, the esoteric or spiritual perspective of the power of the yoni goes much deeper, says Lord.
"Pleasure and desire are the sexual energies that offer us the power to transform our wounds into wisdom and pains into purpose," she says. "In the Tantric traditions of India, the yoni is a sacred vessel that holds the nectar of life and yields the powers of pleasure, desire, creation, and manifestation."
It is believed that when we uplift our sexual energy from the lower centers of our bodies through the power centers of the heart and third eye—otherwise known as kundalini rising (or awakening)—we can experience higher consciousness and one heck of an orgasm.
And let's not forget masturbation is healthy and fulfilling. Research suggests that sexual stimulation, including through masturbation, reduces stress and tension, boosts concentration, relieves menstrual cramps, and improves sex with a partner.
Why have women become separated from the power of their yoni?
Two words: the patriarchy.
While there isn't an exact date as to when the patriarchy "began," there is some research that says it started as far back as between 3500 BC and 500 BC (which is why, for many of us, it has literally felt like forever).
"We not only lost touch with the power of the feminine and the power of sexuality, but women and all things womanly were debased, degraded, and shamed for being sexual," says Shasta Townsend, a tantrika and BIPOC sex and relationship expert. "If sex was a way to feel alive, unstoppable, and powerful, then it must be controlled and shamed, too."
History has many instances of this happening. For example, Britain introduced the Contagious Diseases Act (CDA) in 1864, which was designed to prevent venereal disease, including the spread of syphilis, in the armed forces. Women who were suspected sex workers in towns where soldiers were stationed were arrested and forced to have mandatory pelvic examinations. Men were exempt from this.
Additionally, Ms. Magazine—an American liberal feminist magazine founded by Gloria Steinem and Dorothy Pitman Hughes—points out that slut-shaming "is uniquely a women's issue, and words that exist to describe someone 'too sexual' are pointedly women-specific."
Also, a 2008 study that discussed objectification theory postulates that many women are sexually objectified and treated as an object to be valued for its use. As a result many girls and women habitually monitor their body's outward appearance, "which leads to increased feelings of shame, anxiety, and disgust toward the self; reduces opportunities for peak motivational states; and diminishes awareness of internal bodily states."
And the list goes on.
It's no wonder that a lot of women have not only felt disconnected from their own sacred sexual center but also felt afraid or ashamed of it, too. Also, a lack of education and misogyny are reasons why women feel disconnected from the power of their yoni, says Tyomi Morgan, sexologist, pleasure coach, and Sweet Vibes' in-house sexpert.
"When a woman hasn't been educated about the power she possesses within her sacred center, she falls into the programming of misogyny that is indoctrinated in every part of our society," she says.
Lack of education and knowledge disempowers us. So many of us fall into the trap of our cultural conditioning, and therefore we don't question what we've always known or seen, whether that's from media, religion, or pop culture, or what's been passed down from our own families.
Morgan also adds that sexual shaming in addition to sexual trauma is another factor in why so many women have become disconnected from their vaginas. "Trauma sustained from shaming, assault, or generational trauma passed on from ancestors creates blocks that aren't always apparent until therapy or coaching places a spotlight on these unhealed wounds," she says.
What does sex mean with your yoni?
Yoni also represents the life force energy of the feminine goddess Shakti from Hinduism.
"Shakti is the energy of the divine feminine, the wild, alluring, and all-powerful feminine essence that was the spark of life," says Townsend. "Shakti energy can be thought of as the energy that is behind all creations, all material, and all manifestation. Like the quantum field that flows through all of the material worlds, Shakti is the source of love."
The complementary contrast to Shakti is called Shiva, the sacred masculine energy, says Townsend. "Shiva was said to 'hold space' and be the containing energy. If Shakti was the blueprint for a house, Shiva was the actual wood, concrete, and material creation on the house."
According to Townsend, sex was intended to be a means to unify the Shiva and Shakti energies—which present in all of life and in all genders—within ourselves and also as a way to experience ourselves as a creative, powerful, passionate, and unstoppable force—much like an orgasm itself.
"Now, however, for most of us, sexuality and all things sensual still feel either uncomfortable or titillating," she says. "Yet, almost all ancient cultures worshipped the yoni or female sex organs as the place of life. And women, as well as sex itself, was revered as a means to experience ourselves as divine beings."
How to care for your yoni:
Caring for your yoni and honoring its superpowers requires intentionality and an openness to explore what's rightfully yours. Here are some ideas to help get you started:
Understand the truth about your body.
"Just by understanding the truth about your own body, energy, and sexuality, you begin to free yourself from ignorance, shame, and even trauma," says Townsend. "Knowing the history on this planet and how patriarchy has ravaged us all is a good place to begin to unpack the lies and misinformation. It doesn't mean we stay stuck in anger or loss, though you may need to express that; it means that we begin to understand why we may carry disconnection, loathing, and fear of our own bodies and power."
Maybe that means doing your own research into the history of yoni and the patriarchy's effect on sex-shaming and feminism. It could also mean exploring therapy and other healing modalities, especially if you've been sexually traumatized.
Explore your body.
There's a lot of misinformation about vaginas, and you can't be confident about your yoni and sexuality without getting to know it on a personal basis.
"The best way [to explore your body], in my experience, is to actually bring your awareness to the vagina to make a mind-body connection," says Townsend. "Most of us avoid the sensation in our yoni or vagina and feel ashamed or 'dirty' when we feel heat or tingling, but we are supposed to feel that."
She recommends sitting on a chair or hard surface so that your yoni is actually making contact with it. "Breathe deeply. Breathe into your yoni. Notice what sensations you feel. Try not to judge it. Begin to make a deeper connection. It is not complicated, and your body knows what to do," she says.
Additionally, there are a number of sex toys, including crystal dildos and yoni eggs, to help you explore your body. Just make sure you do your research before purchasing and buy them from a reputable place, like yoniegg.com, as you want to make sure the materials are clean and authentic for the health of your vagina.
Include your partner.
"Sexual energy is creative energy," says Morgan. "Couples can work on a creative project together to explore sexual energy in a nonsexual way." She also recommends experimenting with tantra and taking a class with a certified practitioner. "Tantra is the art of using sexual energy to cultivate deeper connection and healing and is the primary way couples can experience exploring their sexual energy in a healthy and enriching way."
Give yourself radical acceptance and self-love.
"Loving your whole body is imperative to owning the power of your yoni," says Lord. "Women have been shamed and vilified for too long. Pleasure is one of our superpowers. If we use it for good, an entire universe opens up to us. Our sexuality is a natural life-sustaining gift from Shakti; we must keep this energy alive without guilt or shame." Some of the ways you can celebrate yourself are by listing all the ways you love and appreciate your body, smiling at yourself when you look in the mirror, hugging yourself, or dancing your heart out.
According to Lord, the divine feminine is a woman who can discern her yes and her no unquestionably. She is someone who is capable of tapping into her intuition and magic and is able to understand who she is and her place in the world. "To know the power of your yoni is to have mastery of your life," she explains.