From fisting to strap-on sex, experts explain everything you need to know.

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lesbian sex positions
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Maybe you want to make Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" your personal reality. Maybe you've started watching the recent The L Word: Generation Q and are feeling inspired. Or maybe you and your boo are ready to get down and dirty. Whatever the reason, odds are you're here because you've got some questions about lesbian sex or are looking for some lesbian sex position recommendations. Lucky for you, as a queer sex educator, I am here to help.

Read on for a list of six sex-educator-recommended lesbian sex positions below.

What is lesbian sex?

Defining "lesbian sex" is no easy feat. Most commonly, the phrase is used as a porn search term to help people find content featuring two (or more) cisgender women

But this is not an accurate conceptualization of lesbian sex. Why? Well, for starters, it suggests that only cis-gendered women get to participate in lesbian sex, which is untrue. Lesbian is not defined as cisgender women interested in cisgender women, but as non-man who loves, dates, and fuck other non-man. So any non-binary person, transwoman, agender, and a gender-expansive person who claims the label "lesbian" can have lesbian sex—not just cisgender women. 

Second, it implies that everyone engaging in certain sex acts or with certain bodies or gender(s) is a lesbian, which is inaccurate. Because again: The only thing that makes someone a lesbian is that they self-identify as lesbian. Someone who is bisexual, omnisexual, heterosexual, asexual, or of any other sexuality, could enjoy, in theory, sex acts labeled "lesbian sex acts."

For the purposes of this article, we are defining "lesbian sex" as sex between two (or more) non-men of any sexual orientation exploring their bodies together for the sake of pleasure.  

6 best lesbian sex positions:

1. Scissoring.

Walk into any lesbian bar and you'll find some beer-drinking hotties debating the existence of scissoring. But trust the queer sex educator here: Scissoring is, in fact, a sex position, and it's one some people really do enjoy. 

A sex position usually involves two people touching their genitals together, scissoring is colloquially known as such because it looks like what two scissors do when you spread their legs (or, blades) and bring their crotch (or, apex) together. Like many other sex positions, whether or not scissoring is accessible to—or feels good for—a couple depends on their personal pleasure preferences, as well as their body shape and abilities. 

Generally speaking, scissoring works best for couples where both partners have more exposed clitorises, and include at least one partner who is super flexible. Because the position can be demanding on your hamstrings, I recommend a hearty warm-up ahead of play. 

2. External hand play.

Hands, as the saying goes, are the lesbian sex organ. And for good reason: Your hands allow you to tease, tickle, penetrate, pound, finger, flick, rub, or rock your partner. 

Exactly how you choose to use your hands to make your partner say your name will depend on your partner's preferences. Regardless, long-time sex educator, Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago, advocates for starting slow, exploring places like your partner's inner thighs, pubic mound, and outer labia before revving up the intensity and touching their clit or cock head-on. "You might, for example, lightly stroke their outer and then inner labia before stroking next to the clitoris," she says. "You could also try cupping your whole hands over their vulva or cock and making small circles with your palm can also be an enticing beginning to hand play." 

To make play even better for your partner, Deysach recommends using lube and trimming your nails."Dry hands on genitals can be painful and friction-y, so grab some lube before you start your strokes," she says. And sharp nails and hangnails can puncture or irritate the delicate genital tissues, so trimming and filing your nails ahead of play is a must. "Another option is to wear latex gloves and stuff cotton balls in the fingertips if you have long nails," she says. The more you know!

3. Fingering.

Following external hand play, you may decide to explore penetrative hand play (AKA fingering). Fingering involves using one or more fingers to penetrate your partner's genitals. Your fingers allow you to hit a variety of internal hot spots—including their G-zone, A-spot, C-spot, and P-spot—depending on the angle of your fingers, as well as how many of them you choose to use. 

Before you begin, start by figuring out which hole you'll be exploring. Anal fingering, after all, is very much a thing, and something many people, including non-opp transfeminine lesbians, enjoy. 

Next, grab some lube and start slowly. It's best to start with one finger at a slow tempo, then gradually add fingers, increase speed, and temper with technique as desired, says Deysach. Some techniques you might try include making a come-hither motion, inserting your fingers deep, then pulsing them up and down, and stroking in large circles from the inside. "Remember that not everyone likes to be fingered the same way, so check in with your partner asking questions like 'Does this feel good?' and  'Can I touch you here?' as you learn to navigate the landscape of your lovers' pleasure center(s)," she explains.

Once you get comfortable navigating your partner's body with your hand, you may choose to bring your mouth in as well. "Using hands and mouth together can add layers to pleasure in ways that either of them alone just can't," says Goody Howard MSW, MPH, the resident sex educator for Royal, a vegan-friendly condom and lubricant company.

4. Fisting.

Fisting can be incredibly pleasurable—especially for people who enjoy taboo sex acts and/or the sensation of being stuffed. But neither vaginal nor anal fisting is for beginners or even intermediate penetrative sex-havers; fisting is an advanced sex act that should be reserved for couples who have a ton of experience with penetrative play, as well as sound communication skills. 

So, how do you do it? "Go slooooow and use a lot of lube," says Deysach. Rather than entering the area with your hand in a "fist bump" formation, you enter one finger at a time, allowing the hand to make a "bird beak" figure inside the area to start. When all of your fingers are inside, the hand will naturally curve into a fist. 

For some fistees, the sensation of an unmoving fist is adequate for experiencing pleasure. Others enjoy a gentle pulsing motion or a rocking motion that allows the fister's knuckles to press up against the nerve-dense internal hotspots. 

lesbian sex positions
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5. Strap-on sex.

Strap-on sex is a broad term used for any sexual act that involves a dildo and harness, that can be used to reinforce power dynamics, affirm gender identities, assistant with feelings of fullness, and encourage sexual exploration. "They're something you may consider trying if your partner or you enjoy being penetrated," says Howard.

The first step in having strap-on sex is getting the prerequisite pleasure tools. "There are many different shapes, sizes, textures, and materials of dildos," she says. Before you purchase, you need to figure out what length and girth, as well as what color and texture, will best meet your pleasure needs. (As a general rule, it's better to start smaller than you think you'll need). "The wearer of the strap-on will have to be clear on what kind of pleasure they prefer because if they enjoy internal fullness, they can opt for an insertable, or double-ended, dildo," she says. 

Once you're geared up, take your time to experiment with different positions. Missionary is a great option for people who enjoy the intimacy of face-to-face contact, while doggy style is the better option for a receiver who enjoys depth. And rider-on-top can be fun for receivers who want to be in control of depth, tempo, and angle. 

6. Butt play.

Anal sex is commonly mistakenly thought of as a sex position for only gay men, but it can be enjoyed by people all across the gender and sexuality spectrums. "Everyone has a butt! And the butt has thousands of nerve endings and when they're stimulated the right way," says Howard. "So it makes sense that lesbians may want to add anal play or anal sex to their bedroom play." 

Her recommendation: Enjoy external anal stimulation with a tongue, finger, or anal-safe vibrator to start. Eventually, you may choose to incorporate penetrative anal play into the works. "During penetrative anal play, the main things to remember are to use lube, relax your body, communicate discomfort and pleasure with the same ease, and toys used in the anus CANNOT be used vaginally (and vice versa)," says Howard.