Despite all the relationship advice we receive from experts, random strangers or loved ones, breakups are still notoriously tricky life events to navigate. No one wants to be noticeably pining away for something they can no longer have, so moving on after a breakup in the most dignified and quickest way possible is a feat we tend to place pressure on ourselves to accomplish, even when we haven’t given ourselves the chance to fully process the split. We know we have to do it, we work hard to do, we kinda hate ourselves when we don’t do it fast/well enough, but eventually, we all do it.
The fact is that moving on after a relationship ends can be so complicated that Naz Perez started a breakup support group (which is friggin’genius, btw). Apparently, Perez, a former producer for The Bachelor, understood that we all need a little bit of hand-holding to get through breakups, which should be treated like the loss they totally are.
Unfortunately, experience has taught us that broken hearts heal on their own timeline, which is often much slower than we’d like them to be. Achy, breaky hearts honestly don’t give an eff if your ex has moved even though you’re still stewing over the split. The heart wants what it wants, even if that something (or someone) is no longer an option for you.
We know you’d love nothing more than to tell your heart to shove it, but in the interest of keeping it all the way real, you haven’t really moved on from a breakup if you are still doing these 6 things.
1Constantly lurking on your ex’s social media accounts.
Not even seeing them with someone else can stop you from incessantly poring over whatever your ex posts online. You’re convinced that if you search hard enough, you’ll decipher some hidden reference to you or the relationship you once shared.
2Creeping around your ex’s place.
We’ve all put ourselves through this facepalm-y moment. A sudden sentimental wave washes over you for some reason or another, and before you know it, you’re literally driving down Memory Lane hoping to catch a glimpse of your ex.
3Listening to old voicemails/reading old text messages.
Because you still sorely miss the sound of your ex’s voice and those emoji-filled convos that only you two could accurately translate. *inserts a million breaking heart emojis*
4Getting emotional when you hear *that* song.
Yes, the sappy tune(s) that reminds you of your old boo and the loving relationship that you’re still struggling to let go of.
5Also, crying to your breakup playlist.
You spend an embarrassing amount of time bawling like a baby during all 100 songs (or breaking stuff during the angry ones), only to start the playlist all over and repeat your cry/rage session until you’re exhausted.
5You don’t date anyone else in case you get back together.
A tell-tale sign that you haven’t moved on is when you put your dating life on hold to make yourself available just in case your ex wants to rekindle things.
6Drunk dialing your ex.
Technically, people who drunk dial their exes aren’t always woefully clinging to their former lovers. Some of them just think it’s funny or are just looking for a commitment-free hookup with a person they already know on an intimate level. However, if you’re drunkenly calling up your previous sweetie in addition to all the aforementioned post-breakup behavior, that’s a clear-cut sign that you’re still stuck on what could’ve been.
If you’re currently hung up on heartbreak, it’s important to take it easy on yourself. Also, don’t hesitate to speak to a professional if your personal efforts to move on from the past keep leading you right back to where you started.