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There are endless ways we can compliment women. We can tell them their pantsuit is killer, that their eyes shine like the light from the sun (thanks, Lizzie McGuire), or that we love the way they’re able to argue with us for an hour straight about whether or not Hiddleswift was a media stunt. And yet, so many people (read: men) seem to get it wrong.

Whisper anonymously collected compliments women would rather get from their romantic partners than simply being told they’re sexy, though of course that’s sometimes nice too. Sometimes it’s something positive about their appearance, but more often it’s about something they do or are — maybe they’re exceptionally generous with their Netflix and Hulu passwords, or maybe they just rocked an assignment at work. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and remember, the more original and personal the compliment, the better the results.

Let them know it’s what’s inside that counts

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And that there are things more important than being “pretty”

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But also that you’re a pretty big fan of the outside, too

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When you do compliment their appearance, it’s sweeter to focus on other assets

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Diversify from “I love you”

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And don’t be afraid to count the ways

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Get, er, physical

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If they’re good in bed, let ’em know

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Don’t hesitate to screenshot

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Think outside the box

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Whatever the compliment, tell it to her face rather than just her Facebook friends

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There are lots of ways to make a woman feel like she’s the best of the best. Get creative.