Channing Sargent
December 15, 2016 5:30 pm

You’ve been dating your new piece for long enough now that the relationship is no longer new. You’re no longer drunk with infatuation or seeing stars, your days of staying in bed literally all day for multiple rounds of sex have gotten fewer and fewer, and your googly eyes are oft replaced with eye-rolls.

You’re now in the regular couple phase. Just a regular couple. That doesn’t mean you aren’t still totally head-over-heels in love, because you ARE. In fact, the following signs that the honeymoon stage is over are actually just signs that you’ve met your mate. This is The One. You can tell by how they react when you break out your ugliest, Cookie-monster blue bathrobe, which is no reaction at all. That’s how you know you are loved.

1. Passing Gas

When you two were new to each other, you both went to great lengths to appear as if you are free of bodily functions. You’d hold a fart in until you could get outside, or somewhere you could let it go outside of your boo’s smelling range. Post-honeymoon phase, you now let ‘er rip whenever your body demands. And man, if it doesn’t feel good.

Some Ecards

2. #2

Go number two at her apartment?! You would never. Until now. Because, all these months in, you can now exit the bathroom after 20 minutes and respond to the look she gives you with a flippant comment like, “beer.” Or, “do NOT go in there.” And you’ll laugh. And she’ll laugh. Now, that’s love.

misunderstood worm (@_blotty)

3. The Fuzzy Bathrobe

At one time, you wouldn’t let your new bae lay eyes on you unless you had a full face of makeup on and were wearing your cutest outfit. But now, you can have your hair in curlers, your face in its rawest state, and be swaddled in your favorite, tattered fuzzy bathrobe, and he’ll love you anyway.

4. Honesty.

You know that thing he said at the bar in the presence of your friends that kind of hurt your feelings? You can tell him now! Tell him, “Hey, honey, I’d like it if you not talk that way about me.” Being honest about your feelings might lead to some misunderstandings, and some minor (or major) arguments, but that’s where you are in your relationship now. You’ve already gotten to know that you really like each other; now you’re getting to really know each other. And you both deserve somebody who cares.

5. The three magic words…

L-O-V-E isn’t so magic anymore. You say them. You say them a lot. Every time you get off the phone. Every time you leave for work in the morning. Now, you find you almost say them out of habit. Yet, you mean it every time. And that’s fucking awesome.

6. The little things.

The sound of her flossing her teeth makes you want to jump out the window. How did she never learn how to wash a goddamn dish properly? The way she directs you every time you parallel park makes your blood boil. But, God, isn’t she the best?

7. Cuddling is cuddling; sleeping is sleeping.

Enough said.

8. Date nights are sit around nights.

When once you’d go to the city’s hottest events together, get tickets to the ballet, try out all the hippest gastropubs, now you make quesadillas and watch Netflix, and you couldn’t be cosier.

9. “Boring” sex.

Not every time has to be epic and candlelit anymore. Sometimes you grab a quickie before work. Or get into it before you start that show on Netflix. Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night, and you’ve started making love without realizing it, and the next morning as you’re both pulling on your clothes, you’ll ask each other, “how did that get started?”

10. No Daily Butterflies.

You used to get all gaspy every time he texted. Your heart would beat outside of your chest each time you heard his voice over the phone. You could barely talk about him to your friends without devolving into a giggly schoolgirl. Now, though, you only feel the butterflies when you haven’t seen him in a long time. But the fact remains: he still makes you giddy.

11. Complaining.

You’ll talk to her about your day. About how the women who sits next to you at work just CANNOT seem to chew with her mouth closed, or the way that Nissan totally cut you off on your way home, or how your mom won’t stop texting you about toasters for sale.

The Honeymoon Phase is officially over, and things couldn’t be better.

You May Like