You’ve been single and ready to mingle for a while now. You’re having fun, but is it time to get serious and hop into a monogamous relationship? Are you ready for a relationship? It’s a tough decision, particularly in the modern dating world. Being single is pretty rad. You don’t have to make any sacrifices, and you can go on dates with several different people in one weekend with just the swipe of a finger.
On the flip side, it’s also nice to have someone to come home to, someone to laugh with every time you watch Veep, and a shoulder to cry on every time you watch Inside Out. You want a partner in life, but do you want it for the right reasons? Are you mentally and emotionally in the right place to give your love to someone else? Here are a few questions you should ask yourself first.
1. Are you still hooked on your ex?
It doesn’t matter how long ago your last relationship was, you can still harbor some unresolved feelings for that person. And if that’s the case, you should sort that out before getting serious with someone new. Are you still close with your ex? Did it end badly because he or she treated you like garbage? Get to the root of any lingering feels before you move on.
2. Do you love your body?
You can’t love another person before you truly love yourself. Plus, any body insecurities you have may negatively impact your sex life. Embracing the bod you’ve got isn’t easy, and the work is never over, but if you reach a place of self-love where you can comfortably look at yourself naked in the mirror, and you don’t prioritize anyone’s opinions about your body above your own, your love life will be so much easier.
3. Are you just looking for regular sex?
Do you just miss the physical intimacy of being in a relationship? Because if that’s the only thing missing, I’m certain dozens of people would be down to be your hookup buddy.
4. Are you bound to settle?
If being in a relationship is the goal, and it doesn’t really matter who the person is, then you’re really just looking to settle. Why would you do that to yourself? Your company is something to be valued, and your attention should be won. Let yourself be wooed by the right person before committing to a relationship.
5. Do you have a type?
Everyone has personality types they gravitate toward, and some physical attributes that catch the eye. However, every single person in this world is different, so loosen up those limiting preferences a little. Don’t date someone just because they’re tall. And don’t date someone just because they’re funny. See them as whole people before determining whether or not they’re right for you.
6. Are you good at arguing?
Once you get into a relationship, you two are gonna fight. It’s inevitable. And some people fight dirty, which sucks. The way a person argues can make or break a relationship, so you should sharpen your skills. Don’t always try to be right. Apologize when you screw up, without justifying whatever you did by your intentions. And always try to see things from their side, too.
7. Are you too busy?
Do you even have the energy to devote to another person? If you’re focused on your career, building up your side hustle, and spend every other free minute sleeping or with friends, then a relationship might not even make sense right now. Consider what your schedule will actually allow.
8. Are you really ready to be exclusive?
A relationship isn’t a marriage, but if you choose to be with one person, you need to make sure you’re ready to stop looking. It comes down to being able to say, “I don’t care what the grass looks like on the other side, because it’s green AF right here.”
9. Are you just trying to fix someone else?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT date someone because you feel like you’re the person to fix them and make them whole. You will not succeed, and you will most definitely be taken advantage of – leaving you exhausted and alone.
10. Are your friends and family pressuring you?
If the only reason you want a boyfriend or girlfriend is so your family and friends will get off your back every time you show up somewhere solo, then you are not ready for a relationship. It’s none of their business anyway, so tell them to chill and do what’s right for YOU.
11. Do you enjoy being alone?
Loneliness is such a debilitating feeling, and it can make you think you need the company of someone else in order to be happy. But if you haven’t figured out how to enjoy your own company, you’re not curing your loneliness – you’re merely suppressing it. You’re a badass. You’re smart. You’re funny AF. Have a good time with yourself and no matter how long it takes to find someone, you’ll be fine.