Channing Sargent
February 17, 2017 12:40 pm
Parker Byrd/Unsplash

Okay, we’ve all done it: texted an ex in a moment of weakness, or exceptionally poor judgement. We know it’s never a good idea (unless you’re this lady), and yet we never learn.

But now, a a 24-year-old Princeton graduate named Sean Drohan may have invented the perfect caution signal. He created a public Google spreadsheet where people can anonymously leave the texts they would’ve sent to their exes.

Key words: would have sent, if not for Drohan’s genius. This spreadsheet is a service to humanity.

After only a few days on the internet, the Google sheet gathered more than 450 “text messages.” Their tone and content encompasses the full gamut of breakup feels.

via giphy

“There’s plenty I would like to say to my exes (and too much I’ve already said),” Drohan said in a Facebook interview with Refinery29. “People enjoy anonymous opportunities to cry into the ether. There’s kind of this unanswered question of to whom we say these things and why, but that’s what’s interesting.”

When we’ve been in the midst of a life-shattering breakup, we’ve taken to typing potential texts as Notes on our iPhones.

via giphy

Maybe the catharsis of typing it out and seeing it on our phones served our brains whatever dose of whatever chemical we needed to get over our momentary idiocy.

via giphy

But this spreadsheet would be an even better outlet, because other people would get to read our nonsense. And, let’s be real, all we’re ever really seeking is attention.

Unfortunately, it appears the spreadsheet is no longer accepting contributions. But the pure gold that is other people’s potential texts to their exes are available for our endless amusement.

Such as:

“thank you for the book recommendation but NO THANKS FOR BEING A DICK”

“i wish i had broken up with you the first time i seriously thought about it…not the fifth #RIP3years”

“I want my fucking hat back”

“Sorry I blocked you on Twitter but I mainly just use it to bitch about you now”

“I need you to take some inches off your dick and add it to your brain.”

😂 😂 😂

We’re dying. These are too good.

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