Trilby Beresford
Updated Mar 07, 2017 @ 1:40 pm

Relationships can be blissful at their best…and unhealthy at their worst. We’ve all been there, and the general feeling is…UGH. In an interview with Us Weekly, Lily Collins opened up about an emotionally abusive relationship. Details are included in her upcoming personal essay collection Unfiltered, and she admitted she was hesitant (totally understandably!) about revisiting the ordeal.

As far as moving on from a relationship that just isn’t making you feel like your best self, her advice was right on the mark:

Here, here! It can be all too easy to take ourselves and our needs out of the equation when in a serious relationship. We can get so entrenched in another person’s emotional needs that we sometimes forget to ask ourselves if we’re getting what we need.

Collins also mentioned that she listens to her gut, and isn’t afraid to say whatever she feels — even if it’s not what the other person might want to hear. That’s a great reminder as well, because so often we try to please other people, even at the expense of pleasing ourselves.

We appreciate how honest Collins is about her experiences, and not just on the relationship front; she also talked about her past eating disorder and how she knows what it’s like to be “the girl with the problem.”

As far finding a new perspective on her body, she likened it to breaking free from an unhealthy relationship. “[…] When you step outside, you realize how much stronger you are and how titles don’t define you. That’s a really powerful thing to learn. I am enough as myself.” So much yes to this!

Collins also noted that, “Writing this was definitely the most difficult thing I’ve done to date, but at the end, it was the most gratifying.” We can only imagine how hard it must be to revisit painful memories and actually document them in a permanent way, but we’re so proud of Collins for taking a leap and sharing herself with us.

We can’t wait to read it!