You might think this advice is the opposite of true, but according to a new blog post on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, having a crush outside of your committed relationship might actually be a good thing.
Yeah. We’ll let that sink in for a second.
According to Goop expert Jennifer Freed, a psychological astrologer (cool job), adult crushes can signal many things about your internal world, your relationship with your partner (if you have one), and can also reinvigorate your bond with your actual partner.
In Freed’s assessment, a can’t-shake-it, think-about-them-all-the-time crush can tell you a few things about yourself. First, the person you’re crushing on may have qualities you wish you loved more about yourself. She writes, “The person who captivates your imagination and perhaps even sets your body on fire may be pointing to parts of yourself you wish you were more in love with/in touch with.”
Plus, she says, thinking critically about your crush can help you to discover your relationship patterns. Does this person have all the same qualities as your horrible ex? Maybe it’s time to think about what these two have in common, and why you’re continually drawn to those qualities.
As far as your romantic relationship with your significant other goes, Freed says there’s “no moral wrongdoing in harboring a crush,” so long as you don’t act on it.
Instead, she recommends “entertain[ing] the libidinous charge and the heightened energy, but keep directing it back into your own self-exploration and development.” She adds, “If you have a committed romantic partner, bring your sexy back to them and fold it into your partnership.”
We’ll let you decide if this sounds worthwhile, morally reprehensible, or something in between! But however you slice it, Freed’s advice is worth considering.