It doesn’t matter who you are, at some point in your life, you’ll probably have a crush. Almost no one is lucky enough to escape the particular kind of beautiful hell that is having a crush on someone. Those emotions will grab hold of you when you least expect it, and once they do, resistance is generally futile. Love them or hate them (or likely both), you should probably get used to the occasional inconvenient crush. And possibly the most inconvenient of the lot is an unexpected crush on someone who is already your friend.
Where do you even begin with this nightmare? It can be difficult to be sure: One minute you’re doing regular BFF things like, binge-watching your current TV obsession, and the next you’re wondering if your friend is about to lean across the couch and pull you in for a kiss — and do you want them to kiss you? It can be really scary when you realize that, uh oh, you definitely do want them to kiss you.
When you realize you have a crush on your friend — especially if you decide to act on it — things will inevitably change. Things could become incredibly uncomfortable or you two could make the perfect transition into the greatest couple of all time. The uncertainty of it may leave you questioning your next step.
However, if you keep an eye out for any of these 8 signs, you’ll definitely be able to tell if your crush is worth acting on or even really exists.
We often like to pretend that we’re above jealousy, but most of us are really not. And if you’re having feelings of jealousy when it comes to a “platonic” friend, then you should explore where they’re coming from. When did these feelings start? Was it after you found out your friend was in a new relationship? Was it when they were recounting the details of a date they recently went on, something that previously never bothered you at all? If you find yourself being jealous when he/she starts spending less time with you and more time with a love interest, you might need to figure out what this person really means to you. When you do, for the sake of your own sanity, you should confess your love! Because if it’s affecting you this much, it’s worth doing something about.
2They go out of their way to be there for you.
If the friend you’re crushing on is constantly going out of their way to be there for you (even when you don’t ask), it could be an indication they have feelings for you, and you could, at the very least, start testing the waters of moving beyond friendship. And by “being there for you,” we don’t mean you can ask them to pick up beer on their way over. We mean knowing for a fact that this person will always show up for you in ways that matter, as long as it’s within their ability to do so. If they’ve got your back unlike anyone else, there’s a chance they might want the rest of you too.
3The butterflies are present.
The butterflies fluttering away in your stomach should be enough of a push to get you to act on your crush! If you’re suddenly feeling flustered and tingly every time they look at you or “accidentally” touch you, then you should give some serious thought to taking the necessary steps to turn your friendship into a relationship. Hey, maybe it won’t work out, but who can possibly continue trying to behave like a normal-ass friend when these damn butterflies are making you want to throw up all the time?
4You miss them when they’re gone. Like, a lot.
Chances are, you’re already spending a lot of time together, but if there is an intense longing the moment they get in their car and drive away or the moment they hang up the phone, then there is clearly something more than friendship present. Maybe you should let them know.
5You’re both at the same place in your lives.
Relationships often fail because the people involved are at different stages in their lives. However, if after countless late-night conversations, you’ve discovered that you and your crush are both in a place where you’re looking for the same things from a relationship and life in general, this could be a sign that your hidden feelings would land in a hospitable environment if you acted on them.
6You find yourself daydreaming about them.
If “get out of my head and into my bed!” is your motto lately, you might need to tell your friend how you feel. If you’re sitting around zoning out about your friend in class or at work, it’s clear that your crush is starting to impact the rest of your life. For the sake of your productivity and overall well-being, please share your feelings!
7They’re your safe place.
Not only has this person become a great friend, but he/she has also provided a safe space for you to be yourself, to fall apart, to cry, to fail, and to be as human as you need to be without the fear of judgment. They’re the person you call when something good/bad/completely random happens and they’ll always be there. They obviously love you, and even if that’s only as friends, you can trust them enough to know that it’s safe to tell them how you really feel.
8There have been subtle but noticeable shifts in how they act with you.
They’re more attentive. They remember the tiniest details about you. Your quick verbal goodbyes have turned into goodbye hugs that now linger, and you can tell they’re having a hard time letting go. They start looking at you a little longer and the “vibes” are almost palpable. There is no longer a need to fill the quiet moments with unnecessary chatter; the silence between you two has become comfortable and unforced. All these little changes point to one thing: They like you too. Or maybe it’s all in your head. (Hey, we would be irresponsible to not acknowledge that very real possibility — we’ve all done it!) Honestly, there’s only one way to find out.