Kenya Foy
September 14, 2017 1:59 pm
Matheus Ferrero / Unsplash

We’re guilty of casually tossing around the term #relationshipgoals without really knowing what’s going on between the couple we’re labeling. Sure, they may look damn good in that heavily posed and filtered Instagram shot, but are they truly in a genuinely solid and happy relationship?

Even if we befriended these people IRL, chances are we’d never know if they’re even capable of maintaining a healthy relationship, so it’s best to gauge the bond between you and your significant other by more realistic standards.

According to Psychology Today, characteristics of a healthy relationship include seeing your partner as trustworthy, having a good time with them, and seeing a future with them. Sounds about right!

Overall in a healthy relationship, you just *get* one another.

Because of the sense of security you have in this healthy relationship, there are so many minor things that you don’t even bother worrying about. Here are a few:

1Where your partner is at all times.

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There’s no need for them to give you a detailed itinerary of where they plan to be every hour on the hour because you guys have this pretty major thing called trust. You don’t treat your partner’s absence as an automatic cause for suspicion, which is way less work than having to be paranoid.

2If they haven’t texted you back right away.

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Srsly, who friggin’ cares? Unless it’s an urgent situation (in which case, pick up tha phoooone), you understand that there’s no cause for concern. They’ll get back to you when they can. And in the meantime, you take advantage of having space in your relationship without having to ask for it.

3Who wins an argument.

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If you and your boo share a healthy relationship, your fights are geared more towards understanding one another and resolving the issue than about who wins. You know that trying to make sure you’re right isn’t important in the grand scheme of things.

4Exposing your flaws.

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Nobody’s perfect, yada, yada, yada — we’ve heard that a zillion times but letting your guard down in a relationship can still be kind of daunting. But when you and your partner’s bond is on the healthy end of the spectrum, letting them know that you’re not actually #flawless isn’t as intimidating as it sounds.

We second Tiny Buddha‘s sentiment that a strong relationship is built on you and your partner’s ability to accept one another’s flaws.

5Losing it in front of them.

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By now, your partner should have already shown you that they’re great at supporting you through the good and the bad. So if you need to have a snot-nosed, yelling, ugly-crying fit in front of them, you’re not worried that they will treat you like a complete weirdo who can’t get a grip on life.

Crying in front of your significant other for the first time may feel a little uncomfortable, but if you’re in a healthy relationship, it should definitely get easier with time.

6Having disagreements with them.

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If you spend enough time around a person, chances are you’re going to clash over something, whether it involves your partner’s highly annoying habit or the intense debates you had over every single episode of Insecure‘s second season.

But after the dust settles, you both know that having a difference of opinion isn’t always a negative thing. As long as you can respectfully agree to disagree, life — and your relationship — will go on.

7Lurking online or elsewhere.

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We totally acknowledge how social media has changed relationship dynamics. Like, it’s totally important to know if the person you’re dating is being a troll online or sliding in someone else’s DMs, but if you have to lurk on every post and snoop to see who they’re following, these are clear-cut signs that you have major trust issues in your relationship.

When your romantic bond is in tip-top shape, there’s a mutual trust and respect between the both of you. You’re comfortable in your relationship and in the fact that your commitment is way too strong for you to let the small stuff ruin a good thing.

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