It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, but it’s worth taking a minute to check for some signs that your relationship is moving too fast. Honestly, who hasn’t been there? And what “too fast” means truly all depends on what feels “too fast” for you — it’s not some universal timeline, and it’s not about judging anyone’s relationship. But having the ability to dig your feet in and slow things down sometimes is the foundation of a solid relationship…not that there’s anything wrong with letting yourself get whisked off your feet and going all in with a new person.
But you have to be careful!
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you have to do some of the hard work. After doing all the romantic stuff and having amazing sex, of course. But after all that — check yourself just in case you might be moving your relationship forward too fast. Here are some tell-tale signs you need to take a breather.
1Everything is *so* romantic.
All. The. Time. Romantic gestures are sweet and heartwarming and just adorable. But if all you guys do is try to top each other’s gifts and Bachelor-esque dates, something might be up. When you spend all of your time sighing over all of their romantic gestures or planning your own, you’re not giving yourself a chance to see what the relationship could be like in real, normal, boring-ass life.
2You fight a lot.
New relationships don’t have to be all rainbows and unicorns, but fighting can be a sign that you’re in way too deep way too soon. It also…might not be. Only you will know. If, in between the roses and afternoon sex, you two can’t seem to agree on anything or if you bicker even in the middle of the supermarket, and it’s still kinda early in the relationship, it’s possible you’re hitting bumps because you skipped a lot of steps. Save the fighting in department stores for like, at least year two, thankyouverymuch.
3You’re already sharing family.
Yes, meeting the family and friends of your new boo is important…eventually. But maybe you should get to know them first. Likewise, if you are already gushing to your mom about how great your new S.O. is and booking their tickets to Thanksgiving dinner, you might need to take a deep breath.
4You’re making big plans.
Being spontaneous and taking adventures with a new partner is so much fun! But make sure the big plans you’re making are fun and reversible. A vacation you can both afford and want to go on? Sure, why not. Moving in together or meeting their kids within a few weeks of getting together? Maybe just take it easy for a minute.
Relationship milestones are different for everyone, of course, but you want to protect your feelings (and theirs) as you dive in. Think twice before signing a lease with a new S.O. if you don’t know their middle name yet.
5You haven’t seen your friends since you two got together.
More power to you for shacking up with your new person and embracing the love cocoon. It’s one of the purely wonderful things in life, and it doesn’t last forever. But if you haven’t come up for air in a while, and your friends are leaving you “WHERE ARE YOU ARE YOU ALIVE” messages, you might be letting things get away from you. Finding a way to balance your new relationship with your actual life is important if you want things to last.
6You think they can do no wrong.
Thinking someone is ~perfect~ is a sign that you are hardcore looking at them — and probably the whole relationship — through some hella thick love goggles. You should wait for a person to prove themselves before you put all of your trust in them. We’re not saying your new partner is going to turn out to be a jerk, but hold off on the worship. Because, seriously, they aren’t perfect. And neither are you. And until you can easily acknowledge their bad sides and flaws, and love them just as much, you can’t really know what you two are made of. That all takes time, which is totally fine. Just make sure you’re giving yourself that time.