Steph Barnes
January 06, 2015 7:36 am

Follow me if you will, it’s a cold Summer morning, 3am to be exact and you’re on your way home after a night with your best girls. The alcohol lowers your inhibitions and so you decide to try your luck. Finding your phone at the bottom of your purse, you type a text to the one who holds your heart. A hint of reluctance remains as your finger hovers over the ‘send’ button. “Just do it!” screams that last shot of tequila and so you do, you put your heart on the line and wait.

Your phone dings and your heart drops.

Sometimes, after a break up we are left searching for a distraction from our aching hearts and the feelings of inadequacy that can often creep in like a thief in the night.  There are several paths to take when it comes to dealing with heartbreak but more often than not, that distraction comes in the form of a rebound relationship. While I don’t recommend getting entangled with a rebound, if approached correctly this type of relationship could provide a bit of clarity before you’re ready for your next real commitment – since in most cases the rebound relationship won’t last.

With that said and keeping in mind my extensive knowledge of everything (just call me Jon Snow) – here are my tips on creating “healthy” rebound relationships:

Rebound, Never Revisit – Ideally, you want your rebound to be the opposite of your ex. Someone different and exciting. The best rebound relationships are build on spontaneity—be willing to try anything once. Use this as an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and get to know yourself through the eyes of “Mister/Ms. Right Now”.

Be Honest – Earlier this year, I found myself in what I later discovered to be a rebound relationship. At the time, I wasn’t nursing a broken heart but it was a case of “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey. . .love the one you’re with.” There was a connection and so I settled. It wasn’t until I realized everything felt like a constant struggle. Simple things like sharing pieces of myself or the details of my day, felt like a burden. But I ignored it and at one point, I think I blamed PMS. Eventually, I put my feelings on the table and we never recovered.

Let’s face it, this new relationship will help to rebuild your damaged self-esteem and make you feel wanted. It’s a bit one-sided, so the very least you can do is be completely honest. Be sure to take the time to talk about the relationship and how much you are able to give of yourself. You are on the rebound so chances are, you are emotional unavailable.

Put all your cards on the table. If it’s about sex, say so. Or maybe you’re just looking for an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or something else — just make sure you let “rebound bae” know what you want — or you could end up breaking a heart and maybe losing a friend.

Keep It Breezy – Don’t joke about the future or how beautiful your kids could be. Just, don’t!

Have Fun – Girl, the world is yours! You’re beautiful and brilliant and newly single. Get out there and have some fun. Keep your options open. Own your sexuality and don’t ever let anyone’s opinion cause you to question or feel ashamed of your choices. Don’t ever settle.

Featured Image taken from . Screenshot created for post. 

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