Annie Cavalero
July 21, 2014 10:22 am

Ladies and gents, if there was ever a sign the apocalypse is coming, the fact that you can now hire marriage proposal planners to help you design a spectacular surprise proposal is it. Companies like The Yes Girls offer proposal ideas starting at $199 (though most clients spend $3,000-4,000 for full “concept production”), and you can even purchase The Ultimate Proposal Package at The New York Palace Hotel to help you execute an Instagram-worthy proposal. It will only set you back $50,000.

As a recently engaged person, there’s something so inherently wrong about that to me; it’s the most intimate, important question of your life, asking someone to spend the rest of theirs with you, and you want to outsource that? And spend thousands and thousands (even the equivalent of a mortgage) on it? It’s as if the point of the proposal isn’t so much to share a loving moment with the person you want to marry, as it is to blow the minds of everyone else on the Internet.

But, as a recent article in Elle Magazine suggests, because of social media, there is a lot of pressure on the proposal these days. It’s no longer enough to call your loved ones to share the happy news; you’ve got to have the perfect photo to trend with #SheSaidYes, not to mention a video to go viral. Shelling out loads of hot cash, involving a celebrity, pranking your honey, flash mobs and musicals have all been done. . . You’ve got to be original and extraordinary in order to get her to say yes!

Guys, things are getting crazy. I’m all for grand gestures and all things sweet and adorable, but in my opinion, the proposal should be about the love, not whether it’s epic enough to end up on Good Morning America. The concept of a surprise proposal itself is kind of scary to me; the proposition of committing your life to another person isn’t exactly something you want to catch them off guard with. I mean, if the person being proposed to loves surprises, I’m all for a surprise proposal; I just don’t think it’s advisable for the first time the marriage topic comes up to open with the question, “Will you marry me?”

In the informal survey I conducted (ie discussing this madness with girlfriends over vino), I found that 100% would take personal over flashy/expensive any day. My fiancé incorporated everything I love most in the world when he asked me to marry him. It was in Lake Tahoe at a childhood friend’s home, with my family waiting at our house to celebrate with champagne and red velvet cake after. He wrecked my car on the way to set it all up and I hadn’t washed my hair in days, nor did I have an ounce of make-up (or clean clothes) on. He planned it, it was all about us and it didn’t break the bank. It was perfect.

Featured image courtesy of New Line Cinema

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