Brianne Hogan
January 09, 2019 2:08 pm
Paramount

Dating can be equal parts fun and scary, which could be the reason why so many of us are more comfortable swiping left and right on an app than we are with in-person situations. But let’s be real. As much as we’re looking for someone to have dinner with, and maybe even someone to stick around longer than a bikini wax, sometimes we just want to have no-strings-attached sex. That’s right. A good, old-fashioned booty call. Because we’re amazing and beautiful sexual beings, and we’re not only supposed to, but allowed to, explore our sexual desires in any way we see fit (as long as they’re safe and consensual, of course).

Maybe you’ve just left a long-term relationship and you’re not in the space for something serious. Maybe you’re not ready to commit to anything more than casual right now because you’re doing you. Or maybe you just want a lover on call. Whatever the reason, you should go get yours if you want it.

“If you’re looking for a casual hookup, you want to be honest about your intentions from the onset,” Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast, tells HelloGiggles. “You’ll also want to consider your own intentions to ensure that you’re being honest with yourself—just as you would in any and every type of sexual relationship.”

If you’ve been wondering how to say you want a great night of orgasms on your dating profile, then we’ve got some expert tips for you.

Know who you’re looking for

Do you want someone to dominate you or submit to your desires (with consent)? Do you want a casual hookup with no commitment? Is there a specific skill you seek? Knowing what kind of hookup you want is key to finding the right partner.

Dr. Jess suggests using phrases like these on your profile:

Looking for a strong partner who can take control and respect my boundaries.

Do you want a casual hookup with no commitment? Looking for a fun, no-strings-attached relationship for a one (or four) night escapade.

Looking for a lover adept in bondage who understands both the art of working with ropes and words (communication and consent are mandatory and sexy).

List your attributes

According to Dr. Jess, knowing what you bring to the table is just as important and tantalizing as knowing what you’re looking for in a partner. She suggests using these phrases to play up your attributes:

I’m an experienced sub who knows how to play the role—in and out of the bedroom.

I’m a generous lover and expect the same from you.

I love to take risks and they’re all the hotter with lots of communication (and safer sex).

I’d love to learn more about you—or not—let’s keep this casual.

I love my body and want someone to worship it, too.

I have an open mind…for the right partner.

Get creative

Dr. Jess also suggests creating fun lists to get the ball rolling, open up the conversation about your preferences, and hint at what might transpire later. “For example, you might create a sexy ‘better than’ list,” she says. Try something like:

Ropes > Silk scarves

Dirty talk > Sweet nothings

Open communication > Guessing games

Playfulness > Taking ourselves too seriously

Safer sex > Everything

Or, Dr. Jess says, you could create an edgy list of “firsts and lasts.” For example:

Last fantasy: Being tied up and teased

Last lover: Now a good friend

Last orgasm: They came in threes!

Don’t forget your sense of humor

Relationship expert Margaux Cassuto says you might also want to lead with something funny, especially since humor both “offsets the offensiveness to those looking for something else and is also by nature a way to bond. It also shakes off any tension and apprehension, and welcomes and starts a conversation with those open to it.” She recommends trying the following if you want to tickle that funny bone, and more.

In search of a non-commital relationship to connect casually. This offer is available tonight only. RSVP ASAP. Clothing optional. Breakfast not included.

I have relationship ADD and am also allergic to gluten and commitment, so…I’d prefer something less serious and more temporary.

Ultimately, says Dr. Jess, you need to ask for what you want. That means clarifying your wants, needs, and boundaries, and supporting your partner(s) in doing the same. “Be straightforward about your intentions,” she says. “Don’t say you want a relationship if you really just want sex and vice versa.” Because, at the end of the day (or night), “If you’re in it for the sex, it might as well be great!”

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