Jen Juneau
August 17, 2015 12:40 pm

Just the other day, I asked my husband, Josh, “Who’s your best friend?” After a few seconds, he said, “You.” I rolled my eyes and said something like, “Come on.” And then I realized he wasn’t kidding, and that just because we’re married doesn’t mean we also can’t be best friends–because we are.

Not every partnership = a best friendship, and not every partnership has to. The dynamics and attributes we look for in a great love is individual to each of us. Some people want to keep their relationship separate from the friendship zone, and that’s totally OK! But if your relationship does cross into BFF territory, that’s not a bad thing either. In fact, it can be a beautiful thing— a sign of deep connectedness, true understanding, and total loyalty.

So how do you know your partner-in-love is also your partner-in-crime? Consider these signs.

You can have fun doing absolutely nothing together

One of the first times Josh and I went to the grocery store to buy food for our own place together, we were in the peanut-butter aisle and he asked me whether I’m more into chunky or smooth. He also said, “This is going to determine whether we can stay together, so think carefully.” Without a second thought, I said chunky and he replied with something along the lines of, “We’re safe…for now.”

When a trip to the grocery store isn’t a chore, or you make a points-based game out of throwing a bag of cat poop into your apartment complex’s perpetually broken trash chute (we may or may not have a laminated scoring guide on our fridge), you know your friendship is pretty darn solid.

You make an effort to get into each other’s interests even if they’re really different from your own

So you’re not into soccer, but your partner is. Still, when they buy two tickets to a game, you totally get into it—like, madly into it. Friendship points right there. On the other hand, say you’re me and you’re really into visiting Walt Disney World but your partner isn’t. If they let their cynicism go and end up having the best time—all because you’re in Disney heaven—you know you’ve got a BFF on your hands.

You constantly text them photos and links of silly stuff that reminds you of them

From epic fails to ridiculous puns, anytime one of you sees something funny, you have to share it with each other, like, immediately. Only a BFF’s approval can make something hilarious really stand out and make your day better–and if you live together or otherwise spend a lot of time in each other’s company, you can even re-watch/view the funny thing together ASAP!

You value their opinion on stuff, both big and little, above anyone else’s

Does your partner read your writings and compliment you on them even though they’re not necessarily targeted towards their specific interests? Do you sit through their practice class-presentation speeches and give constructive feedback even though you aren’t the one grading them? No matter what the subject, valuing your partner’s opinion on something–even when they aren’t the expert–is a big sign of BFF mutual respect.

Anytime there’s an opportunity for a double costume, you rope them in

Partner BFFs are the best costume buddies – and when the costume is of a romantic couple, it’s double awesome because you can make out and it’s all part of the act. Score.

Vacation isn’t the same without them

Being apart and having independent interests is awesome and healthy, but when your partner is your BFF, you can’t help yourself thinking how much better group activities would be if they were a part of them.

You feel safe venting to each other

A mutual friend is annoying one of you? A coworker is giving you hell? The cat vomited on the carpet for the 328473th time this week? If your partner can be a great listener and offer a sympathetic ear without it seeming like they’re being condescending, they’ve got bestie written all over them.

You get mad when they watch a new episode of your favorite TV show without you

You know how it goes: If you’re up on a show’s storyline together, it feels like cheating when the other person watches without you!

The same extends to movies. Josh got an invite a few weeks ago to see Ant-Man when I was out of town and his response was, “Jen would kill me.” Yes I would have, sir.

They complement you in the best ways

People say opposites attract for romantic partnerships, but the same can be said about friendships! Look at Kristy Thomas and Mary Anne Spier in The Baby-Sitters Club, or Monica and Rachel in Friends. The best friendships involve two people who have something unique to contribute to keep things interesting and balance each other out. If anything, a best friend as a romantic partner adds to this awesomeness.

You truly cannot envision life without them

True friends find a way to never lose touch, even if they don’t live near each other – and if you have that feeling about your partner, even outside from a romantic context, that’s some serious BFF status.

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