The 8 (totally normal) fights everyone has in a relationship
Fights suck. And often, when you get in a fight with your love, it can feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with your relationship. But it’s totally normal! In fact, these arguments can actually be constructive. For one, it shows you both care about each other and are willing to work to make things better. Secondly, having a bit of heated conversation can help you learn more about each other and make your relationship stronger than ever. Here are a few arguments that every couple has from time to time — and how to handle them.
1. Forgetting to text back
Maybe one of you sometimes forgets to text back, or to let the other know when you get somewhere safely after a long drive. Everyone has a different communication style, and sometimes those styles don’t jibe as well as you’d like.
It’s important for both parties to remember the other’s chatting style and meet each other in the middle. For those who are more text-savvy, remember that sometimes, it just slips your partner’s mind — no harm intended. For those who tend to forget, try to make it more of a priority to send your partner a couple of words just to let them know you’re thinking about them.
2. Money issues
Oh, man, money. It can be a tense issue, and it’s no wonder it’s the root of so many arguments, big and small. Whether it’s about spending, saving, or budgeting, it always comes down to one important word: compromise.
Of course, that can be easier said than done, but keeping an open mind and having a real conversation about the offending action — whether it’s spending too much at Chipotle (been there, done that) or not offering to pick up the check at dinner — and figure out what would make BOTH of you happy. Talk about it all up front so that there’s no room for confusion.
A little bit of jealousy is totally natural and even normal in a relationship. You love your partner, and maybe seeing them talk to an attractive coworker gets the green-eyed monster going a little bit inside. Or maybe your partner acts a bit funny when you chat with your cute friend. Hey, it happens, and sometimes it can escalate, like a crazy amount.
It’s important to remember that, although jealousy can happen, it’s only a temporary feeling that will pass quickly as long as there’s trust. Remind yourself — or your partner, depending on who’s feeling a little green — that your relationship is strong, and that you only have eyes for each other.
4. Issues in the bedroom
I won’t go too into detail here, but even if your bedroom escapades are often steamy and passionate, having an off night is totally normal. The importance here is talking openly without shutting down, and remembering that sometimes, bodies just don’t feel like cooperating. Communication is sexy, baby.
5. Getting along with family
Two people in an intimate and healthy relationship is one thing, but when you get families involved, there’s bound to be a little bit of clashing. Maybe your partner feels like your sister doesn’t like them, or you feel a little threatened by your partner’s slightly overbearing mother. It’s bound to happen in some capacity.
Nobody expects you to be BFFs with every member of your love’s family, nor vice versa, but sometimes, you’ve just gotta smile and nod (while rolling your eyes inside). That said, if your partner’s family member is seriously freaking you out, make sure to speak up when you two are alone — but remember that they may get a little defensive at first; it can be instinctive.
6. Alone time
Maybe one of you is an introvert and needs alone time to read, play video games, or just chill out. That time is precious, because it’s vital to recharge. But the other is more of an extrovert, and perhaps feels that their introverted partner is pushing them away. The important thing is to talk about it (sensing a theme here?): It’s totally understandable for an introvert to need their solo time, but they can’t expect their extroverted partner to understand that without informing them, “It’s not you — it’s literally me.”
If you two live together, chores like dishes, vacuuming, and all that boring stuff can end up being an issue. (Hey, it’s an issue with roommates, without throwing romance into the equation.) Talk with your partner and come up with a system of how to divvy up those duties fairly and equally. Ask your partner what’s their favorite and least favorite chore; maybe you’ll find that they like doing dishes most, while you despise getting your hands all pruney. Problem solved!
8. Exes (eek!)
This ties back to jealousy. It can be a little scary to think about your partner’s relationship history, especially if one or more of their exes are in their life. But if this is the case, remember that means that your partner is a good person who didn’t get petty and angry when things didn’t work out. It’s a sign of maturity. Besides, you’re the one in the relationship now! The past is, well, in the past.
Fights are normal, and, if navigated correctly, can even serve as tools to becoming closer and more in love than ever before. <3
(Image via FOX)