Sammy Nickalls
June 15, 2016 4:00 am
20th Television

1. For when you’re feeling numb.

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We’ve all been there. It can be hard to process it all.

2. For when you’re feeling hopeless about love.

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Even though you *definitely* won’t end up a single old lady flashing people on the subway, it’s normal to feel afraid after a breakup. Like, even Jess freakin’ Day has been there.

3. For when you feel like it’s all your fault.

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When you’re racking through your head, trying to figure out everything that went wrong, remember that there’s someone out there who will love you for exactly who you are, without trying to change you.

4. For when you’re doubting everything you’ve ever known about love.

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We’ve all had that breakup that totally disorients us and knocks us off our feet, but remember that love is a constantly changing thing, and what you’ll need one year may be totally different from what you need the next year. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong — it means you’re learning.

5. For if your ex invalidated your emotions.

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You aren’t crazy for being who you are and feeling how you feel, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Own “your crazy,” like Jess does.

6. For when you feel like you’re supposed to be “fine.”

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Don’t be in a rush to move on, or you’ll end up suppressing feelings that will come out in a weird, weird way later on. Let yourself feel everything, even if it hurts. It will pass, and you’re strong. Open up to your loved ones. Own this breakup, and don’t let it own you.

7. For when you’re channeling your innermost heartbreak.

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Indulge in comforts! Cover yourself with cozy blankets, keep your favorite bottle of wine within arms reach, and turn on a movie that never fails to heal you (Dirty Dancing, perhaps?).

8. For when the anger takes over.

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Keep your phone away so you don’t do anything stupid, but let yourself feel mad. Let yourself rage that s/he didn’t give you what you needed, wouldn’t prioritize you, or hurt you more than anyone ever has. Let yourself get brownie-smushing mad. Today, they’re the actual worst person ever.

9. For when you want to write some anger poetry.

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Who needs love poetry? Anger poetry will let you get out all those nasty feelings, so take a page from Nick’s book — just don’t give it to your Caroline.

10. For when you’re surrounded by love EVERYWHERE.

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After a breakup, it’s okay to feel a little bitter seeing people holding hands everywhere. We’ve all been there.

11. For when you’re doubting your breakup.

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After a breakup, it can be so tempting to only remember (and sob over) the good times while forgetting the bad. Why can’t you just rewind back to the happy times? But before you text your ex asking to talk, remember that there’s a reason you broke up. If there’s no way to solve your problems, it’s better to let your heart heal and start anew with someone who will make you truly happy.

12. When you really, really miss your ex.

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Breakups suck, no matter how they end. Sometimes, missing your ex can feel like you made the wrong decision. However, missing your ex is totally normal and understandable, and a breakup doesn’t mean you two don’t still care about each other. Sometimes, loving means letting go.

13. For when you’re afraid of being alone.

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Being alone and happy is better than being in an average relationship and just feeling okay. You may not be at that happy place yet, but you will be — and you’ll find that passionate relationship after you’ve healed. You’re going through this pain for a happier life.

14. For when you’re wondering if you’ll always feel like this.

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Every emotion is fleeting, and you’re gonna hurt a lot right now — but then you’re gonna be happy. Then, hurting. . .then happy. Going through heartbreak doesn’t mean you failed — it’s just a part of life sometimes.

15. For when you’re finally ready to embrace being single.

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Breakups are hard as hell, and you may still miss your ex from time to time — but it’s time to concentrate on YOU. Because you are awesome, badass, and deserve some time for yourself. <3

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