period sex
Credit: iStock / DeanDrobot

For lots of us, periods are a thing. And an unpredictable thing at that. They ruin your favorite pair of underwear, they show up for date night, and they love to bring the cramps right as you’re about to kick it on vacation or interview for your dream job. They are, if nothing else, exciting.

For me, periods really like to make themselves known when I’m having sex. Because nothing is sexier than bleeding all over someone while you’re getting laid.

But actually – why aren’t they sexy? Why are periods supposed to be so inherently disgusting? What does it say about our culture that a totally natural thing that happens to loads and loads of people is seen as completely disgusting, as if it’s unnatural, when it’s really just the opposite?

The first time I got my period during sex, I totally flipped. I was embarrassed, horrified, and could hardly look at the person I was hooking up with. I wanted to pretend that nothing had happened, but the evidence was clear. I mean, blood is a pretty tough thing to hide. Especially when it gets on the other person.

When it happened, I was totally bummed out and worried that they would never be able to see me as the sexy, ~sensual~ person I’d been five minutes before. They were a little freaked, as they were worried that they hurt me. I admitted, hiding my face behind sex-mussed hair, that I’d gotten my period.

Things are different, now. Because the thing is that I kept having sex, and sometimes during my sexual adventures, I’d get my period. And I didn’t die. So then sometimes I’d risk sex on the tail-end of my period when I thought my period was over, but then it’d come back full force to say a final goodbye. And then I hit the point where I just didn’t give a damn about whether or not I had my period.

If I wanted to have sex, I was going to have sex, period or no period.

Because sex is loaded with fluids. It just is. We need to stop acting like sex is a beautiful, soft, clean act where somehow everyone involved is in a fit of glorious orgasm without anyone getting anything anywhere – I’m being vague because I don’t want to horrify anyone who’s not into the messy details of sex, but you get my drift – because it’s a boldfaced lie.

Sex is a fluid-filled explosion of magic and goodness, and sometimes periods are a part of that. It’s chill, and it’s not the end of the world.

Here’s to more orgasms, periods or no periods. Because we all deserve pleasure, and not to be ashamed of our own bodies for doing something totally, 100% normal.