How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Really Work
I’ve been in a long distance relationship twice and, boy, were they HARD WORK. It’s not easy to keep a connection alive when the physical aspect of the relationship is missing. Tensions are raised and it’s incredibly easy to grow frustrated with the circumstance and take it out on your significant other.
But there is hope. There are also many beautiful things that come with long distance relationships that won’t happen in a regular relationship. Let’s discuss some of the hurdles that accompany being in a long distance relationship and how we can overcome them to make it work, no matter how much work it requires.
Technology, Use It
When I was in my first long distance relationship, FaceTime didn’t exist. That’s right, there was no way to randomly see each other’s faces throughout the day. But luckily, we still had texting, email, phone calls, and of course I became incredibly acquainted with Skype. Technology allows us to stay connected with friends, family, and loved ones that we aren’t seeing on a regular basis, So without abusing the privilege (FaceTime all day err’day) use technology to your advantage. By this I mean. . .
Plan a Date Night!
One of the highlights in my long distance relationship was our Wednesday night date night. One of us would pick a new recipe and we would cook together on Skype, eat the meal together on Skype, and then play a few computer games against one another (chess, checkers, puzzles, etc). It was our long distance version of a date night and it was my favorite night of the week. The reason why it worked so well is because neither one of us would cancel for anything or anyone else, and we would feel connected by following a routine you might normally follow in a regular relationship. We made sure to focus entirely on each other for at least one night out of the week so the feeling of importance was still there. I would highly suggest a regular, reoccurring date night so that you remind each other that you’re in this together, and you’re willing to do whatever you can to make it work.
Always, Always, Always Communicate
Once you reach a certain age, you stop thinking that true love is the answer to your relationship and understand that communication is the actual key. When you’re in a long distance relationship, a lot of things may get lost in translation, especially if you’re in an argument. You’re missing some keys parts of communication such as affection, body language, and so forth. So communication needs to be strengthened in other areas, ie: verbally, tone, etc. It’s important to communicate when you’re upset, when you’re angry, when you’re happy. Your partner should know these things so that they aren’t left guessing, or confused. I know it’s easy for some people to shut down when they’re upset, but that’s something you want to avoid when you’re in a long distance relationship. You need to talk through your problems and fears so that things don’t escalate.
Have Faith in Your Partner
Trust is a tricky thing in any relationship, but in a long distance relationship, it’s even trickier. You’re so far away from your significant other that they’re really is no way to know what they’re doing sometimes. If you have established trust in your relationship, then there shouldn’t be the excessive need to check in, or know what they are doing all the time. You need to trust that they’re faithful and that they’re honest. They will be going out without you, or with friends more often since they have the time and that can be difficult. But once you both have established trust and honesty, then you should feel secure in being so far away and knowing that you’re still on their mind.
Enjoy Your Free Time
There is a HUGE upside to being in a long distance relationship and that’s time. Since you are both far away and not spending all of your free time together, you find that you have a lot more time to do the things you want to do. You can go to the gym at night, read, take up a new hobby. It’s like being single, but having the security of your significant other. Take this new time that you have and focus on yourself. Do the things you’ve always wanted to, and try to include your partner along the way.
Marisa Roman is a writer of all trades: film, novels, plus her day job as a fashion copywriter and blogger at The Orchid Boutique. She enjoys reading, cooking, and meeting the demands of her grumpy old Chihuahua, Penny. She currently resides in Miami Beach, although she will forever remain a Jersey girl at heart.