Even if having children is the furthest thing from your mind, once you hit a certain age, more and more people in your life seem to start procreating. Suddenly, friends are getting married, and people your own age are posting snaps of their baby bumps on Facebook. Things are getting real.
This person is on speed dial for just about everything significant and less significant in your life — from new jobs and beaus to your shared live commentary of every episode of The Bachelor. Whether you live nearby or thousands of miles away, your friend is important to you, and you deeply value the relationship.
So when your bestie tells you the wonderful news — they’re choosing to have a baby — you know their life is about to change… and maybe yours is, too?
You’ll be excited for them
Whether your best friend was trying to get pregnant or not, they made the decision to have a baby, and you support them. So you’ll be super happy for your bestie, knowing that they’re in for a lot of challenges and hard work — but that they’re already going to be super in love with the little bundle of joy by the time the birth (or adoption) happens.
You’ll love playing with the baby, and being able to give the baby back when you’re done
Babies are so much fun! But they’re also demanding, so it’s great to be the person who gets to babysit without experiencing sleep deprivation and all of the other struggles that come with having an infant.
But you’ll also worry that your friendship will change
You loved how things were with your bestie. You spent so much time together and did so many exciting things — is the baby going to change that? The obvious answer is: YES. Your friend is going to have less time, and their priorities will likely shift to be about their family. And your pal may make new friends who are also parents. You might feel left out.
So yes, you may miss that pre-baby era from time to time — but you love your friend and thus, probably their baby, so you try to be understanding. You may trade going out to bars on weekends with visiting your new parent friend. But that’s OK, because you can have a lot of fun with your friend and the baby, too. Plus, your friendship matters now as much as it ever has and is worth the effort.
Once you get used to having the baby around, you’ll probably start thinking about family stuff more often. And if you haven’t already decided that children aren’t for you …
You might start to wonder “OMG, what would it be like if I had a baby?”
Now that your pal’s life has changed significantly and babies are a real part of your existence — not a faraway consideration you don’t have to think about for years — you might start to think of your own future. And you might freak out a little. When should I have a baby? Am I ready? Do I have time? What if I never find someone I want to have a baby with? Will my career suffer? What if I don’t want to have kids? And then deep breathing ensues.
Despite all the big changes that come when your bestie has a baby, one thought will probably rise to the surface, causing great joy…
Yay! My bestie can drink (and eat sushi, go in hot tubs, etc. ) with me again!