Kenya Foy
August 03, 2017 6:13 pm

One of life’s hugest letdowns happens when someone you considered a close friend turns into a frenemy. Because you want to give the benefit of the doubt a person you have history with, you might be hesitant to go through with a friendship break-up. And while sometimes frenemies do turn into friends, it’s also possible that your bestie has abandoned you for the dark side, never to return.

In case you’re still struggling to come to grips with the fact that your friendship is on the outs (we know, it can be really hard), here are some signs that someone has fallen down the relationship ranks from friend to frenemy.

1Their support comes with conditions.

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You have no idea what is going on here but it really hurts, it’s awkward AF, and you’re not sure if the two of you can ever get that old thing back. The unequivocal exchange of love for one another has slowly morphed into a tit-for-tat relationship where you don’t get the support you need from them without doing something for them.

2They no longer celebrate your victories.

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Instead of the friend who used to be happy to share in your wins, this scoffing stranger seems pretty bummed, super passive or even angry when you dare to achieve something you set out to do.

3They ghost you regularly.

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It kind of feels like these frequent instances in which your friend goes MIA are done on purpose. Between the Google calendar alerts, social media notifications, and the barrage of text messages you sent in advance, there’s really no reason for them to habitually miss out on milestone celebrations or even skip out on plans to grab dinner, unless of course, they’re no longer the friend they used to be.

4And come up with lame excuses — or no excuse at all — for their crappy behavior.

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Their reason for standing you up for your weekend plans to catch a movie together basically sounds like a mumbled version of “something came up.”  It pains us to say it, but this blatant disregard for your time is classic toxic friend behavior.

5You don’t really trust them anymore.

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Even if you can’t quite pinpoint the precise source of distrust, something tells you that this former pal is no longer a person who will guard your secrets, have your back when you need it most, or do something small and thoughtful to make your day.

6They talk down to you.

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Compassion has been replaced with snark-filled commentary that feels like this not-so-nice someone is intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. It could be that they were a secretly awful person all along, or maybe this is just their incredibly immature way of breaking up with friend. Whatever the case, you don’t need this drama or their disrespect. #ontothenext

7They’re passive aggressive.

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Also see: “routine ghosting” and “not celebrating your victories.” A friend who no longer deserves that title frequently expresses themselves with hurtful, indirect barbs that are meant for you, like conveniently leaving your name off the party invite list, giving backhanded compliments, and basically giving Regina George a run for her money.

8They’ve stopped apologizing.

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Even if they’re clearly wrong or upset you by something they said or did, they flatly refuse to say the words, “I’m sorry.”

And that, folks, is when you know it’s time to call it a wrap on this bond-turned-burden. If you spend way too much time looking over your shoulder, suspiciously eyeballing this person’s every move, chances are they’ve taken the plunge into frenemy territory.

Accepting the fact that someone you care about can no longer reciprocate those same positive feelings is a challenging process that involves mourning and sorting through layers of complicated emotions. But life is too short to keep company with people who don’t mean you well. Rest assured that genuine friendships are out there for the taking, and you deserve to have as many as your heart can handle.

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