Kit Steinkellner
July 13, 2014 7:21 am

It is straight-up weird that we constantly talk about how hard it is to sustain a long-distance romantic relationship but we don’t really talk at all about how hard it is to do long-distance with your close friends. Like, how am I supposed to be happy that the love of my life is sitting three feet away from me when my sister goes to college five HUNDRED miles away from me and my best college friend has work that is constantly taking her to Europe and Australia, and my other really good friend is moving to Asia and I can think of a dozen more examples of friends who are far away and dearly missed. So I’m happy that I’m sharing the same couch with my favorite dude, but what about all my favorite ladies? WHAT ABOUT THE LADIES?!

Below, a list of ways to make long-distance with your bestie(s) suck just a LITTLE bit less:

1.) Find A Form Of Communication That Works For You Two And WORK IT, Girl

I have friends that I instant message with when I’m supposed to be doing work, it’s the greatest. I also have friends I forward interesting articles over to (and they in turn pass interesting articles along to me). I definitely have a friend who has a boss that is the human equivalent of The Entertainment Industry Voldemort and we just send each other emails sassing about this all the time. It kind of doesn’t matter what form of communication you use, as long as you find something that works for the both of you, something you guys can keep up regularly.

I know it sounds grand and romantic to send each other handwritten love letters doused in your signature fragrances, and if you can keep this up, by all means DO (and please let me come over and learn how to be cool from you), but if you really aren’t going to be able to keep this kind of thing going, just stick to texts. The point is that you’re connecting, you don’t have to be fancy about it.

2.) Start A Long-Distance Book Club (Or TV Club Or Movie Club Or Whatever Club) 

So obviously you amigos have a lot to talk about (you’re besties, le duh) but with long-distance relationships, convos can often devolve into “This was my day, how was YOUR day?” which is fine, but is also conversation after conversation emphasizing how different your locales/lives are. Find a book to read together or a TV show to follow together. It’s a great way to share something and stay on the same page.

3.) Be Responsive

Okay, so you know how sometimes someone you love sends you a super-sweetheart e-mail and you don’t have time to respond to it that day and then it disappears from your main e-mail page and you forget to respond to it, like, period. I do this all too frequently, DON’T be like me, be BETTER than me, respond that day! Even if it’s just to say “Agh, things are the craziest right now, I love you so much, let’s find a time to talk soon!” That will take you eight seconds to type (EVERYONE has eight seconds to spare, you included, busy-pants) and will make your friend feel loved and taken care of.

4.) If You Guys Lose Touch, Get Back IN Touch Without Making It Weird

It’s one thing if she’s ignoring ALL your texts and calls, then you might have to give her a strong dose of “DUDE, what is UP?” But if you’ve just been a little out of touch, don’t make a big deal about it, making it weird is going to put unnecessary stress on friendship re-entry, no one needs that. Just a lovey-dovey “I MISS YOU, WHAT’S UP, TELL ME EVERYTHING?” will do, trust me, if no one makes it weird it WON’T be.

5.) Make The Most Out Of Visits

You finally get to hang, hooray, huzzah! Don’t just go see whatever movie is out right now. You’re not going to remember that in twenty years, you’re not going to remember that in, like, a week. Take your bestie on memorable dates when she’s in town, and peer pressure her to show you the town when you visit her. Go on adventures. Make memories. Do the kinds of things you probably wouldn’t do if you lived together in the same zip code. Those epic memories will cement and sustain your friendship during those long stretches of time where you don’t get to see her pretty face.

What about you long-distance besties out there? How do you keep the friend-mance alive?